Seriously I am very lost in the ward. I am not sure what is going on. I am not sure what I need to do actually. I don't know where I need to go. I don't know what I exactly should write.
Seriously, I am lost in the mist of busyness. The awkward moment when everyone is busying with something, and I have nothing to do, or should I say, I don't know what I actually need to do.
I am tagging now, and I am called a tagger. Honestly, this must be the greatest misnomer ever in medical field. It is not like you are tagging along or following a senior and learn how to do the ward stuffs. No, by no mean. It has nothing to do with the word 'tag' . What it means is, you are just working from 7 to 10 (I mean 7am to 10pm, not 7am to 10am), and you are basically doing the same stuffs.
On top of it, you are not in the shift schedule. No one is assigning you to any place, or any cubicle, or any room, or any patient, execpt the clerking schedule.
Another awkward moment is when I found something to do, but I don't know how to do it. I mean, a random patient, which I kkow nothing about of it, what do you expect me to review or to write.
Seriously, I am very lost. I feel that I am a good scholar, but a bad practitioner. I know the theory well. if I don't know anything, I am willing to learn it. I xan even teach people a challenging and even a boring topic. However, I feel like I am a bad practitioner. I don't know how to put the knowledge into application.
Attitude is important, but how should my attitude be?
I am lost. My LORD and my God, guide me in the wilderness, let your cloud guides my way in the day, and let your pillar of fire shows my path in the night.
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