Recently there is something that keep disturbing my mine. The is feeling or enthusiasm to do something, like organise discussion group, do some teachings, write a book on ECG, etc. However the is always a sound telling me something is not quite right. I always feel that something is holding me back. Not only so, sometime even when after doing those things, I found no satisfaction or peace in me.
There are also time when I was called to do something that I don't. Join the chinese small group, and even lead them, do translation work, take care of the technical stuffs, etc. Many times I just go through those things with unwilling heart, yet I found some satisfaction and peace in me after doing them.
Many times these dilemma and struggles going in me. Yet I can't define what are they. Yesterday I read an article in Desiring God website. Surprisingly this article, written by Lumma Simms, stuns me. Here are some main points that she wrote:
Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. (Hebrews 3:1)
There is no better path to discouragement than to look within ourselves.
Instead, we are to look to our Savior. We usually want something that we can do, but the answer is what the cross gives us. This is where the gospel meets us — it gives us a new identity.
How true is it. Many time, I try to look for answer in myself. I try to look for my identity in myself. I try to seek the potential in my own talent. I try to use the gift of Holy Spirit in worldly thing, not to magnify God, but to magnify myself. The gift of teaching is great, yet it is like a double-edged sword. It can bring understanding to others, but also can bring pride to the teacher.
Hebrews 3:1 reminds me a hymn that was sang regularly in my church.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
We are never called to look upon our ownself in our pilgrimage. We are not the centre of our life. We are called to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). I will rephrase another point written by Lumma Sims:
Worldly encouragement or exhortation builds on sand because it tells us to look at ourselves and find worth, honor and value in our ownselves. Our true worth and value is found in Christ Jesus.
In fact this is one of the theme of the book of Isaiah.
God’s people, feeling abandoned by God foolishly put their trust in worldly powers. The only hope of the world is bound up in one man—the promised Davidic king, the servant of the Lord, the anointed preacher of the gospel, and the lone victor over all evil. - Source: ESV Study Bible
Let us find our true worth, value, and identity in Jesus Christ, and do what He calls us to do.
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Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2