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Thursday, December 30, 2010

重新开始

前些日子,看见一位好友
把自己部落格的所有的帖子都除去,
改革换面,还换了部落格的名字,
然后还放了新的帖子,名作“重新开始”。

今天十二月三十号,来到了二零一零年的尾声了,
大四第一学期也来到了尾声,
跟巴布史金的课也来到了尾声。
今天买了些存货,从祷告会回来后,
收拾了货物,收拾了书本,
收拾了书橱,收拾了书桌,
床……等寒假时再收拾吧。

收拾完后,心里想,
是时候冲个凉,
收拾好自己的心情,
收拾好自己的思绪,
来迎接新的一年。

近期为了不同的人,不同的事,不同的小考,
烦恼了太多,搞到连觉都睡不好,
身体疲惫,心灵也都快跨了。

是时候把心情收拾好,
迎接新的一年,
迎接来临的期末考。

是时候放下一切,
剪断这一切的无谓,
重新开始
……


My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:1, 5-8

____________________

For such is the purpose of your day of rest,
the seventh day of a week,
a day to keep a clear vision of the cross on your horizon,
a day in which you get your bearings so you can find your way home.

~Max Lucado, And The Angels Were Silent~

我不是

我不是写食谱的料理师,
我不是被发泄的出气筒,
我不是修电脑的技术员,
我不是谷歌网的翻译器,
我不是不说话的泰迪熊,
我不是治不眠的安眠药,
我不是治孤单的红药水,
我不是治伤心的忘情水,

我不是随传随到的勤杂员工,
我不是回答问题的询问人员,
我不是万事都会的維基百科,
我不是车厢后面的候补轮胎,
我不是只会回应的电话应答机。

我也是个人,
并非是超人,
而是个罪人。

T.T

____________________

But by the grace of God I am what I am,
and his grace to me was not without effect.
1 Corinthians 15:10

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Season Greeting ~We Are The Reason~

Christmas is around the corner again,
but everyone should know the bad news during this season.
But what is the bad news?


The bad news is that there will be a day,
where the dead will be raised,

and everyone will come before God.

Everyone will give an account to him,

and God will judge everyone
according to the things that they did,

because God is just.


Those who disobey God
and violeted his rules and standard
will be thrown to hell,
where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth,

where the will be worms,

where there will be eternal fire that cannot be quenched,
so hot that they feel burning fire in their tip of tongue.

In that place,

they will suffer eternal wrath of God for eternity,
because they had offended and sinned again this Holy God.

This is the bad news.


But fear not, this bad news came with a good news!


The good news is that God so loved the world so much that
He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ to the world,
in the form of human, to fulfill all the laws and standards,
being tempted in all ways, yet sinless.

Being sinless, but He willingly go to the cross as a sacrifice,
to die for the sins of those who believed in Him,
so that those who put their trust in Him
will not be condemned of their sins,
will not perish, but will have eternal life
to glorify God and enjoy His presence in eternity.

This is the good news,
this is the gospel.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,
whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world,
but to save the world through him.
Whoever believes in him is not condemned,
but whoever does not believe stands condemned already
because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.
John 3:16-18


What is the greatest gift that God has given during this season?


For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6


Merry Christmas
because Jesus Christ is born on this day
for you and for me!

____________________

As little children we'd dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We are the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

~ We Are The Reason ~

Sunday, December 19, 2010

习惯

请原谅我的无知
请原谅我的愚昧
请原谅我的自私

我现在才明白
原来“习惯”可以酱可怕

我现在才明白
原来“不习惯”可以酱折腾

我现在才明白
原来“习惯的大衣”是酱难脱下

对不起

因为
我的无知
我的愚昧
我的自私

让你三番四次地
感到很不习惯

对不起
请原谅我

____________________

如果我的坚强任性,会不小心伤害了你,你能不能温柔提醒?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

世界上最遥远的距离


飞鸟与鱼的距离很遥远,
因为一个在天空飞翔,
一个在水中游行,
但是……

The distance between bird and fish is very long,
because former flies high in the sky,
and the latter swims deep in the sea,
but......





世界上最遥远的距离,
并不是飞鸟与鱼的距离,
而是胸廓与肋骨的距离。

The longest distance in the world,
is not the distance between bird and fish,
but is the distance between thoracic cage and rib.





世界上最遥远的距离,
并不是飞鸟与鱼的距离,
而是当你的另一伴不能
和你一起赞美和敬拜上帝。

The longest distance in the world,
is not the distance between bird and fish,
but is when you cannot praise and worship God together with your partner.




世界上最遥远的距离,
并不是飞鸟与鱼的距离,
而是当你与上帝的爱隔绝了。

The longest distance in the world,
is not the distance between bird and fish,
but is when you are separated from the love of God.

宁可一辈子少根肋骨,
也不要找个不合适的骨头,
因为只有在主内的婚姻才会被祝福。

Instead of getting an unsuitable bone,
I rather have a missing rib for the rest of my life,
because only the marriage in Christ will be blessed.



____________________

Paul said, "I wish that all men were as I am."
1 Corinthians 7:7

Sunday, November 21, 2010

等待

有人说等待是一种幸福,但等待却需要很多的耐心,很多的坚强,很多的勇气,很多的信心,很多的恩慈,很多的定力,很多的力量,很多的忍耐,很多的慷慨,很多的牺牲,很多的小心,很多的专心……

很多的耐心,因为等待的,可能需要很长的时间。
很多的坚强,因为等待的,可能只有自己一个人等待。
很多的勇气,因为等待的,可能不是你想要得。
很多的信心,因为等待的,可能根本不会出现。
很多的恩慈,因为等待的,可能会面对很多不义的。
很多的定力,因为等待的,可能让你不断地被试探。
很多的力量,因为等待的,可能耗尽你所有的精力。
很多的忍耐,因为等待的,可能让你常常发怒。
很多的慷慨,因为等待的,可能需要付出很多。
很多的牺牲,因为等待的,可能需要放弃一切。
很多的小心,因为等待的,可能跟别的很相似。
很多的专心,因为等待的,可能因为一个疏忽而错失。

简单而言,等待,需要很多的爱心,
因为爱完全律法,(参罗马书13:10
因为爱永不止息。(参哥林多前书13:8

你有足够的爱心,去等待你要等的吗?
你有足够的爱心,去等待被应许的吗?


____________________

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.
He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish,
but everyone to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

剪断

一寸一寸在挣扎
人生有很多挣扎
长长短短
短短长长
在抉择上
在交叉入口中
不知向左还是向右
我努力选择
努力记得

但有些抉择
是一去不返
好像剪短发
一剪就没了

因为牵肠挂念
因为不想错过
常常犹豫不决
常常藕断丝连
常常举棋不定

但是时候剪断这一切
剪断挣扎
剪断牵挂
剪断惩罚
剪断不被爱的分岔
剪断伤透我的尴尬
长长短短
短短长长
是时候剪断这些无谓

因为不想让这些
长长短短
短短长长
搞到自己寝食不安
搞到自己昼夜不分
搞到自己日夜颠倒
搞到自己思绪不定
不想再静静的
守着电话

是时候剪断这一切
无谓的长发
因为是与非
很明显的
摆在眼前

那怕是再多的牵挂
那怕是再多的不舍
那怕是再多的美丽
也应该剪断

反反覆覆
清清楚楚
一刀两断
这些无谓

带着短发
看前直往
应许之地
向前奔向
新天新地

你剪断了
你的长发吗?


____________________

Let us throw off everything that hinders
and the sin that so easily entangles,
and let us run with perseverance
the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1

Marriage

据说源于唐代的一段故事。

唐代有一个名士,名叫麦爱新,他看到自己的妻子年老色衰,便产生了嫌弃老妻,再纳新欢的想法,并写了一副上联放在案头:
荷败莲残,落叶归根成老藕。

被他的妻子看到了,妻子从对联中看到了丈夫弃老纳新的念头,于是便提笔续了一副下联:
禾黄稻熟,吹糠见米现新粮。

以 “禾稻” 对 “荷莲” ,以 “新粮” 对 “老藕” ,不仅对得十分工整贴切,新颖通俗,而且,“新粮” 与 “新娘” 谐音,饶有风趣。麦爱新读了妻子的下联,被妻子的才思敏捷和爱心所打动,便放弃了弃旧纳新的念头。

妻子见丈夫回心转意,不忘旧情,乃挥笔写道:老公十分公道。
麦爱新也挥笔写了下联:老婆一片婆心。

这个带有教育意义的故事很快被流传开来,世代传为佳话。
从此便有了“老公” 和 “老婆” 这两个词。民间也有了夫妻间互称 “老公” 和 “老婆” 的习俗。


What is actually marriage? Just an insurance for your love with your partner? Just a contract to live together with your partner? That's what the world usually think, but marriage is more than that.

For the husband is the head of the wife
as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ,
so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it,
just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:23-25, 28-30


Marriage is an institute that establish by God in the beginning,
which is a profound mystery (cf. Ephesus 5:32),
that points to the relationship between Christ and His church.

____________________

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Operation Day

11 November 2010, our second operation day for Operative Surgery cycle. Our patient is a cat with postoperative hernia through the diasthesis of abdominal rectal muscle. So our operation is to repair the hernia by strengthening the anterior abdominal wall.

Preparation of surgical tools


Our nurses at the surgical tools table


The surgeons are dissecting the patient


Closing the surgical wound by with interrupted stitches


Accomplishment of the operation


Our patient during postoperative period


The surgical team with our patient and also our teacher Elena Yegeievna

* * *

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.
Acts 17:26

Some people describe those surgeons with very good skills as those with God's hands, but in reality they are just humans, they are just like everyone else, just a sinner before God. They don't really determine the life of the patient, they are just try to improve the patients' condition as much as possible. After all, God are the who determines the lifespan of each and everyone of us.

All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
Ephesians 2:3

Everyone of us, are just sinners, by our own nature, we are all objects of God's wrath. But the reason we are still living now, every second, is because of His mercy that withholding His wrath until the Judgement Day.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

Have you repent of your sins and turn to the one that created and also sustained you?

____________________

"The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near.
Repent and believe the good news!"
Mark 1:15

Monday, November 8, 2010

沙滩上的足迹

那一夜 我梦见与耶稣在沙滩上同行
我的人生经历 都一幕幕地划过蓝天
那一幕 我都看见沙滩上总会有两对足印
以对属于我 以对属于耶稣
然而 我发现最近沙滩上的足印只剩下一对
我又会想起 每当我人生陷入低潮和沮丧时
沙滩上的足印总是只有一对


我十分懊恼 就质问主说:
主啊 你曾应许我 当我愿意跟随你
你总会伴我一起走过人生

为何总是在我最艰难时刻 你离开我
为何在我最需要你的时候 你远离我


主温柔地回答说:
我最亲爱的孩子啊 我爱你
我决不离开你

当你处于在苦难和考验中
你只看见一对足印 那时因为

我正背着你

____________________

我虽然行过死荫的幽谷,
也不怕遭害,因为你与我同在,
你的杖,你的竿,都安慰我。
诗篇 23:4

Saturday, November 6, 2010

没有面子书的小熊

难道一定要有面子书才记得吗?
没有要求每年都要记得,
但却没有一年的记得住,
看来就连那一天都不知。

为什么其他人的都记得,
但却不是我的呢?

为什么其他人都记得住,
但却不是你们呢?

不期望蛋糕,不期望大餐,
不期望卡片,不期望礼物,
不期望派对,不期望短讯,
不期望盛大,不期望特别,
不期望准时,不期望当天,
只期望祝福,小小的祝福。

难道一个小小的祝福,
都给不了吗?

给不了就算了,
却给我假希望,
把我捧上上摩天轮。

当知道希望不再是希望,
当知道祝福不属于我的,
就好比从摩天轮掉下来,
真是心如刀割,
心好痛,好痛。

心痛就算了,
却必须要脸带笑容,
必须要皮笑肉不笑,
必须要含泪而微笑。

好想变成一只小熊,
不会期待的小熊,
不会伤心的小熊,
不会心痛的小熊,
不会流泪的小熊,
不需要笑的小熊,

爱是恒久忍耐,又有恩慈,
爱是不嫉妒,爱是不自夸,不张狂,
不做害羞的事,不求自己的益处,
不轻易发怒,不计算人的恶 ,
不喜欢不义,只喜欢真理;
凡事包容,凡事相信,
凡事盼望,凡事忍耐。
爱是永不止息。

……但我却办不到……
……心已痛到麻痹了……

主啊,
你真的能擦去一切的眼泪吗?
真的不再有死亡吗?
真的不再有悲哀、哭号、疼痛吗?

我试着勇敢一点,
成为一只勇敢的小熊,
成为一只坚强的小熊。

____________________

我不是超人,我只是个没有面子书的小熊。

Friday, November 5, 2010

学海浮沉中的喃喃自语……


繁忙中饮用的热巧克力……


学海中浮沉的喃喃自语
……




-I-

一直以为自己做的解剖学的笔记很完美,很整齐,很正确。最近当我温习回解剖学时看会自己的笔记,才发觉到,笔记缺乏很多资料,乱七八糟,漏洞百出,而且还有很多错误。一直引以为傲的东西,回首一看,原来有那么多的瑕疵。紧握的绿洲,原来却只是海市蜃楼。骄傲在败坏以先;狂心在跌倒之前。(箴言16:18)

人往往就是这样,只看到自己的优点,自己的强处,自己的厉害,自己的正义,但我们都像不洁净的人;所有的义都像污秽的衣服。我们都像叶子渐渐枯乾;我们的罪孽好像风把我们吹去。(以赛亚 64:6)

当我们发觉到自己的罪,自己的软弱,自己的无助的时候,才能看到神的大能。他对我说:“我的恩典够你用的,因为我的能力是在人的软弱上显得完美。” 所以,我更喜欢夸自己的软弱,好叫基督的能力覆庇我。(哥林多后书 12:9
This illustration depicts two things. First the black line represents how much we aware of our own sins and weakness. The red cross represents the grace of God and the mighty of God. As we become more and more aware of our own sins and weakness, we will see how much grace we have received from God, and how His mighty arms save us from our wretched condition.

________________________________________

But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.
Romans 5:20-21
________________________________________

-II-

最近常常忙着读书,忙着上大课,忙着再医院做实习,忙着教会的施工。流逝在繁忙的时光中,让自己麻木了。我已经忘记了为什么要学习,到底要怎样学习。
The stone the builder rejected has become the capstone (Mark 12:10).

居然让自己忘了这么关键的一点。在繁忙的时光中我们常常会迷失方向,尤其是在这遥远的耶路撒冷。When we fail to follow God, toxic living and spiritual pollution will come like a swarm of locusts and eat our life. Lord will you repay the years that the locusts have eaten?

知识给予生命内容,智慧给予生命方向,神的真理给予智慧(摘自李建安的简明神学)。唯有在神的真理中,唯有再次会到上帝的身边,才能找回原来的颜色。世界上最遥远的距离,并不是飞鸟与鱼的距离,而是当你与神的爱隔绝了。

泡沫般黑夜即将 过去,这一次我愿相信,向前去往应许之地,下一季在下一个雨季,我会勇敢的说:“You're My God”。May Your peace guards my heart and mind, for I tend to stray away like a lost sheep during my pilgrimage.

________________________________________

Dulux - adding colour to people's lives,
God - adding reason to people's live.
________________________________________

-III-

最特别的是,在这遥远的耶路撒冷,不只是我迷失了,原来还有其它人也迷失了方向。不惜歌者苦,但伤知音稀。西楼望月几回圆?寻觅知音自古难。在生活的困难中,有时想找个朋友倾诉,但又有几个朋友是个明白自己的知己呢?所以当找到了真正的知己就要好好珍惜。你找到了一个和自己的心思意念一致的知己吗?

有些人会说,在人生里有一個又一個巧合和偶遇,也會有一個又一個意外和錯過,人与人的相遇是个缘分。但当我想起 《向左走 · 向右走》,我觉得人与人的相遇,不是缘分,而是神的主宰。

想正真去明白和了解一个人的心并不容易,就好比海底针一般。
There will always be a distance between people, and even between things that seem within ones' reach. And that one must walk down a long, thin and winding road before they reach one's heart. There's tons of obstacles. It's in fact like the roads in towns of old.
(from Dennou Coil)


虽然很难,虽然不容易,虽然会耗尽很多时间,虽然会耗尽很多精神,但只要一直往那条路走下去,是可以的到达路的尽头。

________________________________________

向左走还是向右走,我努力选择努力记得,
不管世界有多辽阔,只要向着你走。
________________________________________

-IV-

In our life, many people tend to worry a lot, so do I. In my life here, there is always so many things to do, so many things to take care of, so many things to worry, so many things to solve. And sometime these worries in our life will consume our ownself, and we end up being so tired, and even exhausted.


Look at the cats on the street, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

(my own version of Matthew 6:26 =P)

The dog should be the one wagging his tail, don't let the tail wags the dog. So in the same way, don't let the worries of life wags you.

A forest contains not only trees, but also many animals, flowers, living things, which make up the fullness of a forest. If you keep looking at the trees in the forest, you can't see the fullness of the forest, you can't see the wonder of the forest as a whole. You don't see the forest for the trees. So in the same way, our life contains not only worries and troubles, but also many wonderful things. If you keep focusing your mind on those trivial matters of worries, you will miss the many wonderful things in life, you can't see the fullness of life, the wonder of life as a whole.

But what is the most wonderful thing in our life? The most wonderful thing in our life, is to know that
God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. (John 3:16-18)


What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to
the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,
for whose sake I have lost all things.
I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.
(Philippians 3:8)

So let's us now list out our worries, turn this worry list into a prayer list, and turn this prayer list into an action list. Don't fret about the future, or consumed by cares. Instead take all your worries, and turn them into prayers. Why we pray? Because God said,

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."
(Isaiah 65:24)

________________________________________

就算黑夜不会过去,就算白昼不会来临,
也将会有破晓的彩虹,因为上帝是个会行奇迹的神。
________________________________________

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Let Them Come Hither

When we are called by God to follow him, we are not called to walk alone in this pilgrimage. When we are called into a relationship with God, this relationship doesn't just grow vertically, but horizontally. In our pilgrimage, God prepares companions for us because

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18).

This verse usually quoted by many people to show that it is normal for man to feel alone and want to seek for a partner in marriage, but this verse doesn't just mean that God prepares a partner in marriage for man, but God want us to walk along with other believers, to grow along with other believers.

But...
Why it is so important to grow together?
Why is it so important to be in a fellowship?
Why is it so important to prayer together?
Why is it not good for man to be alone?

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" (1 Corinthians 12:14-21)

A believer is not given with all spiritual gifts, each are given with different gift, in order to help one another and build up the body of Christ. Just as the eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!", and the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" so a believer cannot say to another believers, "I don't need you!".

Let us see what J. I. Packer’s opinion about fellowship.

We should not…… think of our fellowship with other Christians as a spiritual luxury, an optional addition to exercises of private devotion. We should recognize rather that such fellowship is a spiritual necessity; for God has made us in such way that our fellowship with fellow Christians, and requires to be so fed constantly for its own deepening and enrichment.

So you can see that to fellowship together is not a option, rather it is a necessity.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:13)

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11)

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

Both the Hebrews’ writer and Solomon recognized the importance of fellowship. Two are better than one, first because of the synergistic effect. An iron cannot sharpen itself, so do a Christian cannot sharpen his faith by himself. Two Christians sharing the Word together can learn more than two of them studying individually, they stimulate one another. Two can also help one another when others are weak or struggling with something, lest that we fall into temptation.

Some people might heard before a book called Pilgrim's Progress 《天路历程》 written by John Bunyan. It is an allegorical tale of Christian's journey from the City of Destruction to the Celestial City.

One of the most interesting part is when the author tried to emphasizes the importance of fellowship together with each other. When Christian and Hopeful are walking through the Enchanted Ground, Hopeful feels so drowsy and wants to sleep, but Christian reminds him by quoting "Let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober." (1 Thessalonians 5:6), because if they should sleep at the Enchanted Ground, they will never wake up again from their sleep. Hopeful realizes his mistake and said "Two are better than one." (Ecclesiastes 4:9). So they decided to have a discussion to keep them awake. Later Christian sings a song,

When saints do sleepy grow, let them come hither,
And hear how these two pilgrims talk together;
Yea, let them learn of them in any wise,
Thus to keep ope their drowsy, slumb’ring eyes.
Saints’ fellowship, if it be managed well,
Keeps them awake, and that in spite of hell.
to help when other falls down
to keep each other warm.

So have you commited in a fellowship?
If yes, continue in it. If no, find a fellowship.
Remember that we are not to commit to the meeting itself, but we are to commit to Jesus Christ and to one another.
____________________

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,
but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:25

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Tell Me the Old, Old Story

Many times I wonder why I still alive, spiritually and physically. Sometime I got a similar feeling with Paul, when he was writing a letter to the church in Philippi.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me.
Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!
I am torn between the two:
I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;
but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
(Philippians 1:21-24)

Many times I fall into the dilemma between the two also. All believers do desire to return to their true home, because we are like travelers, traveling in this foreign world. After being banged by a car and still survive, I feel a calling from Him.

Though I surrendered myself to Jesus Christ, but there is something that I still haven't do, there is something that I still need to do, that is to be His witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth (cf. Acts 1:8), and go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that commanded by God (cf. Matthew 28:19-20). The reason I still living now, is to proclaim the good news, to proclaim the gospel.

This is a hymn, from a poem written by Catherine Hankey (1893-1911). She wrote it when she became very ill and lay in bed.

Tell Me the Old, Old Story

Tell me the story slowly, that I may take it in -
That wonderful redemption, God's remedy of sin.
Tell me the story often, for I forget so soon;
The early dew of morning has passed away at noon.

We need to tell others the old, old story of Jesus and His love. They need some good news.
____________________

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live,
but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body,
I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
(Galatians 2:20)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Coil — A Circle of Children

当我从椅子醒来的时候,看到我左右的人离开了。
他们虽然还在附近,但却不再身边。
顿时间有种被背叛、被抛弃、被遗弃的感觉。
剩下的只有孤单、落寞、和失望的灵魂。

做事常常事以愿违,常常力不从心。
一心想去普拉提卡,却必须
交钱。
一心想去西阿母伊,时机却不妥当。
一心想去见老朋友,却只得到孤单。
一心想得到的东西,却等也等不到。
但最伤心的是找不到可以谈心的人。


What is lost? Usually it mean you don't know where you are.

But sometime you know where you are, yet you are still lost,
simply because you don't know where to go.

But sometime you know where to go, yet you still lost,
simply because you don't know how to go.

But sometime you know how to go, yet you still lost,
simply because you can't reach the place that you want to go.

But sometime you reached the place that you want to go, yet you still lost,
simply because you didn't get what you expected, even after you have tried so hard.

But sometime you get what you expected, yet you still lost,
simply because the thing that you expected doesn't matter anymore, and what you get is just tireness.

People feel sad when they are lost, not because they don't know what to do or where to go, but simply because no one help him or accompany him when he was lost. People seek for a companion, because it is not good for man to be alone. That's why people said it is not important to where are you going to travel, but is with whom you are going to travel.

Even the robots in the movie I, Robot will come and gather together in the dark, and the androids in Eve no Jikan (The Time of Eve) seek for a better relationship between themselves and humans, how much more man wanted to have a companion.

Yet is not easy to find a suitable companion. 知音难寻。It is difficult to find a companion that understands what is your need, a companion that has the same goal with you, a companion that can tolerates your bad behaviour. To find a companion is not like just involving in a relationship, but committing in it.

What is the difference between involve and commit? It is just like a egg-and-ham breakfast, in this case the chicken involved but the pig committed. But I think not much people want to be a pig.

Though of same kind, but it seems like human cannot understands each other. Though speaking of same language, but it seems like the words can't never reach the heart and mind of a person. This is also the main theme of the anime Dennou Coil, from where I got the title for this post.

"There will always be a distance between people, and even between things that seem within ones' reach. And that one must walk down a long, thin and winding road before they reach one's heart. There's tons of obstacles. It's in fact like the roads in towns of old."
from the anime Dennou Coil
____________________

The LORD God said,
"It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

迷失

在繁忙都市,我却在摇脚
在人海之中,我却很孤单
在聚餐之中,我却静静吃
在欢笑声中,我却很沮丧
在谈笑之中,我却没话说
在拍照时候,我却只能看
在合照时候,我却在拍照
在灯光之下,我却迷失了
在黑夜子时,我却睡不着

在遥远的拿撒勒
在遥远的加利利
我迷失了
请让我再得到你的宽恕
请陪我再静静找回我原来的目的


____________________

"Only in his hometown and in his own house
is a prophet without honor."

Matthew 13:57b

Titanic

No matter you have watch the movie "Titanic" or not, you must have know something about Titanic. Surprisingly I heard something about Titanic during a birthday party. This is a short story or poem or whatever that was shared by a boy born in 8th August, 8.50pm, rephrased with my own words (cause obviously I can't remember every single word that I heard).

My birthday cake has the shape of a ship.
Many of you might ask why.
A ship like Titanic can crush an iceberg anytime and sink.

A person's life is similar, it can perish at any time.
The ship is me, drifting through the journey of life.
The anchors are my parents, who are the foundation of my life.
The sea that I am sailing on is all my relatives,
while the crews and the sailors on the ship are all my friends.
All of them will be with me throughout my journey,
until I reach my destiny, my harbour, my port.
It is you all that made me what I am now.

____________________

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalms 23:4

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dala~ Dala~

Tonight, is my first time, really putting my 'laptop' on 'top' of my 'lap', lying on my bed. I've seen many people doing that, wanted to try that myself, but due to my own laziness, I haven't try it until now. Tonight, is also my first time to talk something about from anime. Just finish watching an anime entitled Durarara!! The title might come from the word Dullahan, who is one of the main character in the story. I'm not going to write about what is the story's plot or storyline, because if you have eyes, you can always watch the anime yourself, read the original light novel, or search in on the net.

Durarara!!

So what am I going to talk about? Hmm, just the things that came across through my mind when I am watching and after watching the anime.

One thing quite surprise me is that there is a Russian fellow named Simon Brezhnev, selling Russian sushi. I wonder if there is 'Russian sushi', however the shop sell a sushi called sour sauce sushi. Sour sauce (or smetana) is quite popular in Russia. His real name is Semyon. When you saw a name ended with 'v' or 'f', you know that it is a typical Russian name, eg. Korotov, Smirnov, etc. But the most surprising thing about him is that he actually speaks russian, wow.... I can understand his russian when he talks with the tourists, but when Simon and Izaya speak to each other in russian, I can just understand some of the words, maybe because (possibility in parentheses):
  • They speak in a kind of russian dialect. (60%)
  • My russian is too terrible. (30%)
  • Their russian are too terrible. (10%)

One of my favourite character is Shizuo Heiwajima. Weird right? Why would I like this character? Well, I myself don't really know, but when I saw this character, I feel kind of.... sorry don't know how to put it into words. But I just got a kind of feeling. According to Wikipedia, His first and last name translates literally into "serene man" and "peaceful island" respectively. His character is totally different from it. He is a very very strong guy, described as the strongest man in Ikebukuro, but very impatient guy, get annoyed easily, and when someone gets on his nerve, he will just express his impatient with action, not just by punching only, but the most special is by carrying some public stuffs such as post sign, trading machine, etc anf start throwing it on the person that annoyed him. Maybe I like the way he expresses his unsatisfactory easily just by violent, without the need to bear with it. I remember I was like that, for certain time, to a certain person, maybe not as strong as him, but get very impatient and with use violence when patient reached its limit. But it was something very long ago, cause I know not everyone can bear with this kind of attitude. Surprisingly, Shizuo don't like the strength that he has, HE don't like the way he is. Maybe he knows that he has to be meek, but somehow he can't. What is meek? Someone asked me before, but that time I can't really answer that question. But now I can. Meek, in a simple sense, ,means power under control, something that Shizuo don't have.

Next is the charcter that I dislike. Though Horada is a bad guy, but after all he is a bad guy, so the bad criteria of his suit him well. The fellow that I really dislike a lot is Izaya Orihara, a informant or information broker. I wonder how this kind of job can make a living. He looked a bit like Akira Takizawa in Eden of the East, but a evil one. His name keep reminds me of the prophet Isaiah in the Old Testament. Surprisingly this what Wikipedia wrote, His name comes from a combination of the biblical Isaiah and Japanese for "the one who looks over the crowd." But the thing that make me dislike this character is not that Izaya comes from Isaiah, but is that fact that he likes to say "I love humans" or "I really love humans". The way he says is like he is not human, just like Ryuk the Death God (Shinigami) in Death Note says "Human is really...... interesting!" Not only the way he says it makes him sounds like he is not human, but the way he acts makes him look like 'god' that 'looks over the crowd'. He likes to act like a god that control or manipulate other people like a chess pieces on a chess board, and the worst thing is that he enjoys seeing people suffer in a situation that he created. He like to play chess, similar to Lelouch vi Britannia in Code Geass, but he puts chess pieces from international chess, Japanese chess, and checker on a same chess board, weird right? But after all, he is a weird fellow.


The so-called gang war between Dollars, Yellow Scarves, and Slashers that are going to happen is simple just the result of misunderstanding between Mikado Ryugamine, Masaomi Kida, and Anri Sonohara. Three of them can't tell each other their true identity or share their problems, so Izaya tried to use them to create a 'war' in Ikebukuro. I remember Mikado said to Masaomi, " Celty-san has told me everything about you and Anri-chan, so I understand everything......" If in the beginning they can do that, then everything might have changed. Some people said speaking truth is not absoulute. I doubt so.

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'
(Matthew 5:37a)



One of the main character is a Dullahan named Celty Sturluson. Obviously Celty is from the word celtic, after all Dullahan is Irish unseelie fairie. She is on her journey to seach for her head, but surprisingly she gives up looking for her head, something that she used to value so much. For her, her past memory in her head doesn't matter anymore. She comes to a point that those memory that she used to treasure so much doesn't mean anything anymore, just like rubbish. Could we also like Celty, give up the rubbish that we value so much?

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the
surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,
for whose sake I have lost all things.
I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.
(Philippians 3:8)

Can you sleep?

Many times I wonder why people must sleep with the light turned off. I understand why people have hard time sleeping with daylight, cause daylight will influence our nervous system and disturb our sleep, but does light from artificial lamp cause similar effect? I doubt so.

I am a person who can sleep with the light turned on, especially when I was really very tired. But I don't think other people are same as me. Many people claim that they can only sleep with the light turned off, but maybe to a different degree. Some can sleep as long as the main lamp on the ceiling is turned off, even with the small table lamp turned on, but some can only sleep with all the lights turned off, including the small table lamp.

But, can you sleep, even when all the light turned off?

Friday, July 30, 2010

Because I don't want

Because I don't want to be a general surgeon.
General surgeon usually works with biliary system.
Bile is produced in small amount and gall bladder is small.
Urine produced in large amount and urinary bladder is bigger.
Bile is excreted with stool but urine is excreted as urine.

This is the answer given by Alexander Alexandrovich Kuznetsov when I asked him why do he want to be a urologist after I answered him during my general surgery exam.

Many people like him because:
  • He is a very 'hebat' urologist.
  • He looks very cool, like a mafia.
  • He is a very good teacher.
  • He received English education in US, so his English is very good.
Ok that's all about his info.

Sometime we make a choice, not because we like that choice, but is because we don't like other choices that's available. Just like Kuznetsov don't want to be a general surgeon and become a urologist, the same is for me. I choose medicine, not because I like it, but because I don't like physics, engineering and pharmacy.

I was offered medicine in Russia. I don't think anyone like a post-communist country. But I don't like form 6, and my parents said they cannot me to go private college. So I chose to come to Russia, though I didn't really Russia and medicine.

But this is how God bring me out from my comfort place and maken himself known to be.
It is at this place I know about him.
It is at this place I start to pray to him.
It is at this place I start to worship him with songs.
It is at this place I start to call upon his name.

What an odd place to meet God.
At a marshrutka stop,
beside a small hill,
at this remote country.

But this is how this awesome God appears to his people, this is how I was found by this never-say-die Galilean.
He doesn't have to appear in front of you, because your sinful nature cannot stand his holiness.
He doesn't need to speak with his own mouth, because he can let a piece of paper do that job.
He doesn't need to appear in beside you to let you feel his presence, because he is omnipresence.
He didn't stretch down his arm to help you, not because his arm is too short, but because he prefers to let other people too help you.

This is the way he do thing,
not in a simple manner that you can think of,
not on a extraordinary manner that you expect,
but through daily circumstance that you can never think of and that you can never do it by yourself.

I want to be a doctor, because I don't want to be a pharmacist or engineer.
And this is how He brought me to this place, through the 'choice' that I made, just because I don't like other choices.

____________________

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.
(Proverbs 16:9)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

最后的吩咐

"华文小组交给你了"
这是他留下的一句话。
这是他留下的一个吩咐。
一句带着很大重担的话。
一个带着很大责任的吩咐。

起初,只带着记者的身份,把小组的境况报出来。
应该带领他们,却把责任推给他人。
应该关心他们的成长,却漠不关心,一闻不问。
但渐渐地被他们那颗单纯的信心而感动。
渐渐地被他们对上帝的渴望而鼓励。
与其教导他们,反而从他们身上学到很多。

现在的我得扛起这责任,
继续带领他们,教导他们,
在已经被撒种的地方,继续浇水。

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Short Prayers

Lord, I am willing
To receive what You give,
To lack what You withhold,
To relinquish what You take,
To suffer what You inflict,
To be what You require,
To do what You send me to do.

Note: A prayer, unknown author, found in the book entitled "Growing Your Faith" by Jerry Bridge.

I believe in the sun, even though it doesn't shine,
I believe in love, even when it isn't shown,
I believe in God, even when he silent.

Note: Carved on the wall of a concentration camp during World War II.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Starry Sky

Source: From anime Bakemonogatari Episode 12. I would like to put the photo that I seen from the airplane window, but my handphone camera is not so good to capture the scene.

How beautiful the sky is, how beautiful is the horizon. Beneath the sky is the ground, dark ground, but with some lights from the houses. On top is also dark, the dark sky, but with some lights, from the sky. A starry sky, a sky decorated by the starry hosts. As you moving down toward the ground, the dark sky is slowly replace by blue hue, from dark blue, slowly to light blue. But from cold colour, it slowly change to warm colour, from light blue, slowly it enlightened with some orange hue, and become red, or should I say, bright orange. Between the sky and the horizon, is clearly demarcated by distinctive clear border of the ground. As the plane slowly moves toward the east, the dark side of the sky is slowly replaced with more blue hue. Rather than the dark ground, what is seen is clouds, many fluffy clouds, so closely arranged that they form a canopy that cover the whole ground. Sometime the sky is so overwhelmed with clouds that even the blue sky is covered. The plane is moving through a bunch of clouds, a cloud nine. The cloud is so thick that even the plane will wavers. But as the plane moves through the clouds, layers by layers the clouds go away, and what remains is the sun that has rise up at the east, which brings light to the sky and to the world, and took away the darkness. And the clouds beneath reflecting the light, but at the same time the clouds give out shadows that pointed away from the sun. How magnificient, how wonderful, how amazing. Who paints this wonderful sky? Who decorates it with starry hosts? Who created all these glorious nature?


Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing.
(Isaiah 40:26 ESV)

It has been a long time for not sitting beside the window. It has been a long time for staying up throughout this lonely night because of insomnia. But it is this time that I sit beside the window, it is this time that I stay up throughout the night, and it is this time that I see this wonderful view, starry sky.


For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.
(Romans 1:19-20
ESV)

The wonder of this nature is reflecting the glorious glory of the Creator. Creation doesn't prove the existence of God, but only with the existence of God that creation was created.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

超人不会飞: 后序

改编自周杰伦的同名歌曲


上帝说很多事别太计较
只是使命感找到了我我睡不着
如果说读书要有点技巧
我会加点旋律你会觉得超炫
我教书不是为了炫耀 (炫耀)
所以放心不会人妒忌 (妒忌)
我读书考试不需要小抄
因为上帝是我绘画的颜料

我做很多事背后的意义远比你们想象
主日去教会为了敬拜我的上帝耶和华
学业再繁忙也难抗衡我对神的渴慕
因为我的人生无需再多一张那文凭

我不知道何时变成了医大的模仿生
被人辱骂不能发脾气要大器的模样(怎样)
我说的言语要有点文化
因为随时会被人批评
ВолГМУ 能不能等我俄文好一点再考
MCQ 的考试能不能不

随时随地注意形象
要控制饮食不然就跟 Dekan Office 相片的我不像(本来就不像)
每一年的毕业典礼时候有很多医生毕业何时才能等到我毕业

喔~
如果超人会飞
那就让我在空中停一停歇
再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些
喔~
读书考试好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我读完了没
因为超人不能发牢骚

***

考试要拿最佳好学生
读药理学就必须要拿个автомат
你不邀请他人讨论就是没有礼貌
你有邀请就是代表你很在乎
教书时你用心解释 (解释)
人家就会觉得你炫耀做作 (做作)
你不解释别人就会说太嚣张
如果你真的不会解释那些人甚至会叫你骗子 (骗子)

当 MCSC 举办活动时
你也要给予充分的支持与赞助
吃的饭不能太好
穿的衣不能太贵
我到底是一个医大学生还是好人好事代表

考试一考就必须拿五分
每个学期就必须是全五
只能说当超人真的好难

喔~
如果超人会飞
那就让我在空中停一停歇
再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些

喔~
读书考试好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我读完了没
因为超人不能发牢骚


____________________

我不是超人,更不是上帝,
因为我只是个罪人。

Saturday, July 3, 2010

超人不会飞: 真正的超人

The truth is, never never will anyone be Man of Miracles. Only Jesus alone can.
Only He alone can do something that I can't do.
Only He alone can turn water into wine.
Only He alone can feed five thousand with five fishes and two bread.
Only He alone can calm storms and have control over nature.
Only He alone can go beyound the boundaries of time and spaces.
Only He alone can make the deads walk out from their graves.
Only He alone can be tempted in all ways, yet sinless.
Only He alone can forgives sinners.
Only He alone can take up the cross.
Only He alone can bear up the sins of the world.
Only He alone can rise up from the grave.
Only He alone can be the Man of Miracles.

Since only He alone can did it and I can't, so I choose ......
to turn away from my own righteousness,
......and put my trust onto Him, who fulfill all righteousness,

to turn away from trusting my own power,
......and trust on the power of His that can raise dead,
to turn away from my own works,
......and trust on the work that He did, once and for all, on the cross.
to give up my own Geass,
......and receive the Geass of Faith from God,
......and He also promised a Code of Eternal Life for me.



耶稣会飞吗?他没有穿超人制服,但他战胜死亡,战胜地心引力,被提到天上去……

____________________

After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them,
he was taken up into heaven
and he sat at the right hand of God.
Mark 16:19