While Advent is here...

It has been about 2 months already after I started working. It is very difficult to catch up stuff. This week I am assigned to KK3, which is a paediatric oncology ward. It was like nightmare on the first day. I have no idea what is happening in the ward. The scope of your work as house officer is different from general paediatric ward.

But thank God that a friend of mine who is also assigned with me to KK3 is very experienced. For this five days he taught me a lot of things, from basics to theory to procedure to attitude. He also shares with me a lot of his past experience when he just started to work. Definitely something worth to listen for a whole day.

Many things also happened in KK6, as many need "taggers" or "first posters" came to our ward. But I am not sure what happened,  since last week when for orientations in pathology department and national blood bank, and this week I am in KK3, so basically I am away from KK6 for about one and a half week.

How can I help them? I don't know. But the tradition of helping out the new colleagues should be continued, as I myself was once and now still in their shoes. But how?

Another worrying thing is that some senior house officers start to get annoyed but me. If medical officers don't like me, I am okay with it. But some how some house officers don't like my .... erm .... attitude? I don't know. And it means I am not a good team mate.

Another thing is this teaching thing.  Why such a late notice for me regarding this thing? But I am also at fault, for doesn't immediately approach the specialist regarding this matter. I also haven't approach my consultant and specialist who are in charge of my assessment, and I also haven't make an appointment for my NRP examination.

And all these happened during this season of Christmas, my first Christmas in Malaysia. Hmm....

Scholar or Practitioner

Seriously I am very lost in the ward. I am not sure what is going on. I am not sure what I need to do actually.  I don't know where I need to go.  I don't know what I exactly should write.

Seriously, I am lost in the mist of busyness. The awkward moment when everyone is busying with something, and I have nothing to do, or should I say, I don't know what I actually need to do.

I am tagging now, and I am called a tagger. Honestly,  this must be the greatest misnomer ever in medical field. It is not like you are tagging along or following a senior and learn how to do the ward stuffs. No, by no mean. It has nothing to do with the word 'tag' . What it means is, you are just working from 7 to 10 (I mean 7am to 10pm, not 7am to 10am), and you are basically doing the same stuffs.

On top of it, you are not in the shift schedule. No one is assigning you to any place, or any cubicle, or any room,  or any patient, execpt the clerking schedule.

Another awkward moment is when I found something to do, but I don't know how to do it. I mean, a random patient, which I kkow nothing about of it, what do you expect me to review or to write.

Seriously,  I am very lost. I feel that I am a good scholar, but a bad practitioner. I know the theory well. if I don't know anything, I am willing to learn it. I xan even teach people a challenging and even a boring topic. However,  I feel like I am a bad practitioner. I don't know how to put the knowledge into application.

Attitude is important, but how should my attitude be?

I am lost. My LORD and my God, guide me in the wilderness, let your cloud guides my way in the day, and let your pillar of fire shows my path in the night.

小儿科

虽然小儿科

一点也不 “ 小儿科 ”，

但是却一见如故。

 

一翻开小儿科的课本和手册，

一年前的回忆，从记忆里的深渊，

一个一个的被钩起来。

  

想念起当时的专科和主任，

想念起当时的前辈，

甚至遇见当时的同事。

 

当时实习的经历，

唤起了要当小儿科医生的念头。

 

不知未来的日子，

是否能克服与小孩的代沟呢？

以后是否会待在小儿科呢？

 

Ink

One of the greatest writers, C.S. Lewis said, "Whenever you are fed up with life, start writing: ink is a great cure of all human ills." That's why I am writing this post or dairy or journal now. It is obvious that I am writing (or more correctly, typing) now, but what illness that I intend to cure with ink (or more correctly, keyboard)?

 

    

Recently I feel very depressed, or lost of direction. I found out that I have lost my interest in medicine. Maybe I should say, I found a greater interest, that is theology. Progressively I start to love to read and study theology. I start eating the Bible in big chunk daily, reading more Christian books, reading articles on DG and TGC, listening to audio podcast, watching video sermons, even to the point of studying the New Testament's original language, which is Koine Greek. Books, Internet and technology make all these possible.

 

But the sad thing is that, this new-found 'interest' develops on the expense of my interests in medicine. I am not a person that good in balancing or distributing his time. Seriously, if a person is good in time management and prioritization, he can really do many things at the same time (not really simultaneously, but together at the same pace). Sadly not only this does not happen on me, but also the fact that this new-found 'interest' doesn't really shorten the gap between my Great Creator and myself. Natalie Grant sings it well:

  

I spend my life to know, 

and I am far from close, 

to all You are, 

the greatness of our God.

(Natalie Grant, The Greatness of Our God)

 

I am always wonder this question, does God wants me to pursue a full-time ministry? But circumstances told me that I should stay on this path. Moreover, it is written, Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. (1 Corinthians 7:17)

  

I tried praying Psalm 51:12 again and again. But it seems like my sins are keeping this distance from God. I am not sure whether my procrastination and my hobby (idolatry?) in making Gundam plastic models are the causes or the risk factors of this illness. Nevertheless, they are crippling. My procrastination behaves quite strangely. Sometime it manifests in its usual appearance: sleeping, lazy around, watching TV, surfing on Internet and social media. But sometime it manifests in a subtle way, or should I say, it masquerades itself under the mask of busyness or useful activities: swimming, jogging, reading books, learning new language.

  

The opposite of "procrastination" isn't really "work" or "do". At the end of the day, procrastination doesn't really mean you are doing nothing, but avoiding doing something that you are ought to do, by doing other works, either meaningless vain activities, or useful edifying beneficial works.

 

I realized that I am been running away from my responsibilities by doing other works, some may not be good in themselves, but some are good in themselves. Doing something that is good in itself doesn't make that act good. What make that act good, is the motive that drives us, the way we work it, the manner we perform it.

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected 

if it is received with thanksgiving, 

because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 

1 Timothy 4:4-5

 

  

*** Epilogues *** 

  

I am surprised by myself that I am writing this piece of work now. This idea inspired by many other author that I read.

 

First is C.S. Lewis, the author of Mere Christianity, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Screwtape's Letters, and so much more. In his writings, he likes to discern something correctly. It is a rule of thumb for him to describe every single detail of thing, regardless it is concrete object or an abstract idea. He can always describe things that are running in my mind, but I never able to put it orderly in words.   

In writing. Don't use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was "terrible," describe it so that we'll be terrified. Don't say it was "delightful"; make us say "delightful" when we've read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers, "Please will you do my job for me.”  — C.S. Lewis

Second is Kevin DeYoung, the author of The Hole in Our Holiness and Crazy Busy. He makes it clear that busyness is not the opposite of laziness. You maybe busy but still a lazy person. We seems to be so overwhelmed by so many things in life, yet we are not using our time wisely. So laziness is not being not busy, but avoiding things that you ought to do by being busy in the things that you are not ought to do.

 

Third is John Piper, the author of Desiring God, Future Grace, The Swam is Not Silent series, When I Don't Desire God. Like C.S. Lewis he like to think something correctly. At the same time he still appreciate the poetic effort to present an idea in beautiful sentences, rhyming lines, or even poem. He also connect glorifying God and the pursue of joy, so that the answer to the first question of Westminster Shorter Catechism makes more sense, more practical, and while avoiding heresies of both extremes.

  

But at the end of the day (this phrase is inherited from a GI specialist), does writing this thing going to change myself? Does this ink of writing will cure my illness? I don't know. We all know that God is the one that changes a person's heart, since He is the one that make it alive. So will God use this piece of writing to change my heart. I know not.

 

I have nothing to do with tomorrow. 

My Saviour will make that His care. 

Its grace and its faith I can't borrow. 

So why shall I borrow its care.

 
I am not sure when I will write again in this blog. Indeed at this place, many ink was spilled to cured the illness of my heart. I am not sure the busyness in my next phase of life will hinder me to continue to write. Only two things I hope. First, may this busy life make me work the best out of every hour of life that was breathed unto me from God. As the saying goes: If you want a job don't quickly, give it to a busy man. Second, when life is too overwhelming, may there a secret door of Corrigan for me to pray, to communion with God in His Word, and spill some ink at this place to cure my illness and restore my joy in God.
  
 

 

____________________

Whenever you are fed up with life, start writing: 

ink is a great cure of all human ills.

- C.S. Lewis -  

  

花

当别人问我想把花送给谁，
我第一个想到的人就是你。
但是我却没有勇气送给你。
 
在婚礼时，卓霖深深记得
他的妻子对他说的第一句话。
 
从前风闻有你，
但如今亲眼所见。
 
我不记得你对我说的第一句话。
我只记得在大一考试期间，
宿舍的一只猫被车撞死。
 
当你知道后，
你责怪我为何没有救它。
你让我知道，
就算面对多少次的死亡，
也不能对死亡麻木。
  
第二次的对话，
是当你更我拿大二生化的大课。
那时你偶然听到
我在听飞儿乐团的歌。
我还记得是《爱 • 歌姬》那个专辑。
  
当时你的表情忽然改变，
非常激动，非常兴奋，
并马上更我拷贝那专辑。
  
从此我们有共同的喜好。
在大三时我们一起分享
《让我们一起微笑》的专辑。
 
在大四考试期间，
你在面子书上要我一定要看
《亚特兰提斯》的音乐影片。
当时的心情，
除了感动，
还是感动。
 
但我能对你说那三个字，
因为我对你感到
万分抱歉。
 
在你被嘲笑时，
我却坐视不理。
 
当你被抛弃时，
当你伤心慾决，
需要被人安慰，
需要别人关怀，
需要他人慰问，
 
我却丝毫不知道，
我却什么也没做。
 
一直对你感到很愧疚，
所以一直想补偿你。

但除了补偿，
还想对你表达
我的心意。
 
但却不能给你任何应许，
也给不了你任何未来。


所以只能鼓气勇气，
把握第二次送花的机会。
   
还有对你说
《对不起》
。
 

Should I?

Sometime, in fact, many times,

I wonder this question:

Does discussion on Facebook group ever works?

Either educationally, medically, or spiritually,

Does it ever work?

I doubt so.

  

Once, I try pour my heart, 

my strength, my mind, my soul,

Into such discussion,

Does it really work?

I really doubt so.

 

Most of the people,

Just simply involved in it,

Why are they in?

Simply because the identity that they have.

Simple because the work that they involve.

 

At the end of the day,

Only few faithful one,

Committed to maintain it,

Continue to sustain it.

  

Should I care about it anymore?

Should I once again,

Pour in myself into it again?

 

O Lord,

Is this your way,

To restore the joy of my salvation?

  

O Lord,

Should I?

Reading Challenge!

New Challenge: 

Finish reading the book

Desiring God

Meditations of a Christian Hedonist 

written by 
John Piper

in the shortest period of time.

Epistle to "Ruth"

Sorry that I didn't address the problem that you mentioned just now, because just now the place was a bit too chaotic, with many people around (esp with my nephew around). I want to take some time to address this problem in depth. If I am not mistaken, you mentioned that someone bring your father to Goldon's church, but that person made some mistakes or troubles and left a negative impression for your father. Correct me if I didn't get it right or if I miss out anything.

(1) The first thing is, attend a church yourselve. Either attend Goldon's church (if your father does not oppose it), or try find another church. Persuade your parents to allow you to attend a church.

If you can't find a church, maybe can try this presbyterian (长老会) church called Calvary Kuching Bible-Presbyterian Church, which is a branch of the church which I am attending now.

Another option is try google (but there are risks and danger). Enter key words such as "kuching, church, baptist, evangelical, reformed". Avoid charismatic, pentecostal, or city harvest church. Bear in mind that not everyone who called themselve "church" is a church, remember Matthew 7:15.

(2) After you find a church to commit in, and when you think the time is suitable, then can start invite your family to church. The best is start with special occasion eg. christmas service, camp, or other activities. Another thing that you can take advantage is start with your younger brother, that's what Zhuo Ling did. I myself don't have this opportunity, since I am the youngest in the family (if you exclude my nephew).

(3) All these things take time, so in the mean time you still need spiritual feeding (Matt. 4:4). Online resources will be helpful. Read or watch sermons from those links that I gave you last time. If you don't know where to start from, can try start with Frank's sermons in this link. You can filter the sermons by choosing the "Series". I recommend "Sermon on the Mount", "The Ten Commandments", or "Assurance".


Sometime things can get very discouraging. I experienced those kind of feeling, when I returned to a place where I used to live as a non-believer. The temptation to go back to the old way of life is great. But fear not, Jesus says, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt. 28:20) Some encouragements for you:

(1) David said, "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1) It is important to live together with brothers and sisters. It is difficult, and it takes time. Personally I have difficult time to mix with the youth. I find it easier to communicate with the older adults, somehow. Even though it is difficult, but take heart, the promise is that it is "good and pleasant" according to this psalm.

(2) When I am learning Greek (in a very slow pace, because there is no pressure and laziness creeps in), this teacher Bill Mounce taught something which is very useful. In our life things can get very foggy, we do not know what is lying ahead before us, and we can't see the future clearly, because our present circumstance become very foggy. But Bill Mounce said, "The fog is never cleared until you move on." And isn't this is faith all about? "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Heb. 11:1) Even when we can't see clearly what is ahead, we are called to continue to trust in the future grace that God gives us in Jesus Christ. "We live by faith, not by sight." (2 Cor. 5:7) So don't be afraid and move on.

(3) Remember what Paul said to Timothy, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1 Timothy 4:12-16). Immerse yourselve in the Word of God, your study in the Word of God will not be in vain.

(4) Last but not least, remember that someone is always praying for you, both on this side and the opposite side of the earth. I will remember your request in my prayer. Frank and Lora will also pray for you and your family.

Six Resolution on Busyness

Something that I think of after seeing some blog post and interview about Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung.

Six resolutions in busy life:

1. Control time on social media, blogging, Internet or the things that you addicted. Mortify them.
2. Rhythm: Restoring the normal rhythm of  life, work and rest, worship and Sabbath.
3. Long view: Have a long view, esp. in view of eternity.
4. Priority: What are the things you say 'Yes' ?
5. Posteriority : What are the things you say 'No' ?
6. Default: What is the 'default' that you do when you have 15 minutes interval in the mist of busyness?

Restore unto me

O Lord, if You are really the God who is there,

help me to find a place in your story.

  

Come, I pray, for the out-pouring of Your Holy Spirit.

Come, I pray, and guide me in your story.

 Come, I pray, tarry not.

 

You have called me to be Your child
and to be a physician in Jerusalem,

therefore continue, I shall, to serve You
and fulfill Your Greatest Commission,

as a physician of body and soul.

 

Help me to remember the first love that I have forsaken.

Help me to remember the height from which I have fallen.

Give me a heart of repentance.

  

____________________    

 

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, 

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Psalm 51:12

 

Epistle to Hamers (4)

Dear Lora,

 

I understand your dilemma. I am also in dilemma whether to stay in my current church that holds on to this KJV only position (since I start to know some of the brothers and sisters and the bond has started to build up), or find a new church, but I am afraid of other churches which are charismatic, which is very prevailing in Malaysia.

 

It is sad to heard their strong "orthodox" view in my church not only exclude away the false teaching, but also the good teachers and their writing. Like what Frank always says, they are "throwing the baby out together with the bath water". They think that person like D. A. Carson is liberal, and today I just saw an article in church bulletin paper that the pastor chose, in which the author mainly talks about a person called William Dever who stops believing the Bible as inspired Scriptures, but in a small snippet he describes C. S. Lewis as an "unsound spiritual hero" who "bridges the evangelicalism to heresies and apostacy".

  

I understand that Lewis is not perfect and we talked before that some the things that he wrote is not 100% biblically correct. But if we ignore all his writings like Mere Christianity, the series on Narnia, the argument of Jesus as either lunatic, liar, or Lord, etc, we really miss out a lot of blessing and his wonderful spiritual insight. And the Desiring God ministry just have a conference entirely on C.S. Lewis.

 

Today in a bible study the topic is the new birth in John 3. I am sad that the elder didn't get it right on regeneration. He teaches that the way we get this new birth is acknowledge ourselves as sinners, repentance and confession (the 'sinner's prayer '). But these are the results or the outcome of the new birth rather than the new birth itself or the way to be born again. I asked and talked to the elder about it but he still hold on to his standpoint.

  

Today the regular pastor was not here. He need to preach at another church. So I haven't found a chance to talk to him regarding C. S. Lewis and the concept of new birth.

  

Maybe the time when I know where is my posting is the time I have to really decide whether to continue to stay at this church. If I need to work at other places, then it might be a good time to look for a new church. If I will be working somewhere near my home, maybe I will still look for another suitable church, if there is. I also hope that both of you will settle down in this Greentree church soon.

  

Take care. 

Kevin.

Epsitle to Hamers (3)

Dear Frank and Lora,

I attended Chong's wedding dinner on 27th and his wedding ceremony on 28th Sept. Glad to meet the brothers and sisters again.

I managed to meet with Chong and Alice, Kok Tong, Joshua and Jean, Wailup and Annie, Calvin, and Jeremy. Some didn't manage to make it due to other plans, some didn't manage to get a leave to come here. We also meet with Wailup' son, Nathan. He is now 7 months old. We have a good time together and catch up with one another. We are also very happy to see both of you again.

Chong shared his story on how he meets Jesus Christ in Russia, which reminds me how I meet with the Lord. He also told everyone how he met Alice the first time and how they eventually get married. Their marriage and their walk with the Lord can be concluded in this one verse:

My ears had heard of you 

but now my eyes have seen you. 

Job 42:5

I was surprised how this verse in the Book of Job has such an impact on them. Indeed, "the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword,  it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)

Kevin.

路

多么希望那天一起走的那段路

是没有尽头
没有终点

 

好希望可以牵着你的手

敞开各自的心声

一起走完这个
天路历程

 

但现在我只能在远方
默默地守护你

希望你能找回
自己原来的颜色

 

愿主保守你的脚步

不让你再次成为迷失的羊

  

只能对你说三个字

对不起
  

Epistle to "Timothy"

One lesson I learned from the past is that to keep a fellowship going on, the group must do something more structured. Last time when the other brothers and sisters still here, we try do something each week like someone share something, or use those Our Daily Bread.

Someone have to 'squeeze out' some idea every week, and that idea will end up very random or very boring if they didn't prepare thoroughly. In other words, we are doing something random every week, so there is no direction and the fellowship is going no where. There is nothing to anticipate. This kind of fellowship will die off very fast.

So what does it mean by something which is structured? It means that it should be like a series. As an illustration, a structured drama series will be better than random movie every week. I asked Frank last time, and this is his advice.

1.  Bible study:

• Choose a book, eg. Ephesians, John, or something else, and study it together.
• I do this with the chinese small group after the service few years back (when there are still many of them).
• You don't have to go chapter by chapter. Maybe just a small portion of a Scripture every week.
• A modulator will prepare first and leads the study. Other people should read that portion of Scripture too, so they can share something, or ask anything that they don't understand.
• Maybe everyone or a few people can take turn to lead the study. However the preparation will be heavy and burden, and not everyone can lead (especially the new believer).

2. Listen and discuss:

• Use some audio/video material from some websites. Listen together, then discuss.
• I did this with the hostel fellowship every Tuesday.
• I used the teaching series from R.C. Sproul, which is recommended by Frank. Most of them are short, and not boring.
• Other trustworthy sites are: Desiring God, The Gospel Coalition.
• NB!!! Remember to check the "Show free series only" box at the right upper corner, because some series need to buy.
• Choose appropriate one, especially those shorter one, 20-30min, so that you have some time left for discussion.
• The modulator should listen first, and anticipate for questions, and prepare some questions or task.
• Last time I roughly browsed through the site. Here is a short list that I did last year:

Video

1. Holiness of God - Video. 30min x 6
2. Pleasing God - Video. 30min x 6
3. Loved By God - Video. 20min x 11

Audio

1. Knowing God’s Will - Audio. 20min x 5
2. Ask R.C. 2007: Best of Listener Questions - Audio. 20min x 4
3. Objections Answered - Audio. 20min x 8
4. The Cross of Christ - Audio. 30min x 6

These 2 should be great, but I think the Amazing Grace series will be better in teaching reformed theology or Calvinism.

1. What Is Reformed Theology? - Video. 20min x 12
2. Chosen By God - Video. 30min x 6

• I remember I did Knowing God's Will, What is the Gospel, Themes from James, The Providence of God (half way only since the semester finished).
• I download the series in mp3 format with Internet Download Manager (IDM) and put it in my iPod Touch, and plugin a small speaker to play it. If you don't have a portable speaker, you can use the one at the church.
• Personally I enjoy doing the book of James than others, which I prefer expository study (means according to book) rather than topical study.
• I found it effective and less burdenful, and in such case you are using authority from outside instead of establishing your own when you are leading a bible study. Some people can disagree with you if you lead a study, but if you are using materials eg. from R.C Sproul's site, you are shifting the authority to him.
• Our sister was there when I conducted using Sproul's material, so maybe you can ask her also.

3. Other suggestions:

• Since Frank and Lora is back to US, maybe you can try conduct a study that Frank or Lora did before.
• E.g. Lora's Chronological Study, Frank's Hebrew study.

Other things that you have to decide or settle:

1. The place: The best is someone's room so that you will have less disturbance, but everyone in that room should participate in the fellowship. Due to roommate's issue I didn't manage to find a room, so end up using the study hall or the assembly hall. I will send you the example of the permission letter. If you want a soft copy in word format, you need to ask from our brother. You need to ask the dean to sign and cop that letter. If you have problem getting the permission from dean, ask someone like the hostel leader or those deal with the dean frequently to help you get it.
 

2. Singing: I think singing praise and worship songs is important, but due to time issue, I didn't include singing as part of the fellowship. Another reason is that bringing music instrument and sing in the study hall might disturb other people in the opposite study hall.
 

3. Prayer: This is important and indispensable. Encourage everyone to pray, like how Frank did in the prayer meeting, but not that long.
 

4. Time: Always control the time, don't let it goes on and on until midnight. Ideally 1h 15min (30min to listen the message, 30min to discuss, 15min for prayer). However this is flexible.
 

5. Be flexible: example during exam period. I always think the fellowship should continue even during exam period, but be flexible. Either change the time if someone have an exam the next day, or just limit the fellowship to prayer. Remember that during exam time the study hall will be full, if you are planning to use the study hall.
 

6. Food: Unless it is a special fellowship dinner (eg. someone's birthday, Christmas or new year dinner), I don't think food is that necessary. The other fellowship in the hostel at Saturday evening have food very frequent (almost every week or every fortnight), and I heard it becomes a burden for some of them. Don't become a Martha in Luke 10:38-42.

 

* * *

 
I just recalled another resource mentioned by Frank called Third Millennium. I remember he tries to use this material for Koinonia in Russia and those graduated when he and Lora are back in US, but so far I didn't heard any news about it.

Very good resource, good reformed teaching, and the video is with animation (a bit like Amazing Grace). The problem is that those videos are 1 hour plus. I didn't use this material before in a fellowship. The great thing about it is that every video session comes with a study guide in word format, so you can download and print it out as many as you want.
 
What you can do is either: 1. Breakdown the video into several parts (the study guide has an outline for you to break it down into a few session), and watch only that small part every week and discuss by using the study guide, or 2. Everyone watches the video themselves, then during the fellowship just discuss by using the study guide. (But you can't guarantee everyone watch that that 1h plus video before they come for discussion, so I prefer the former alternative).

  
Feel free to ask me or Frank if you have any question. Last but not least, remember Heb. 10:24-25 and Matt. 18:20.
 

Good Old Days?

Recently I saw some of my batch-mates wrote that they miss their life in Russia, the time when we need to pack our luggage and take the flight to Russia, the days when they can cook whatever they want to eat, the nice restaurants in town, the nice food and beverage that they can enjoy in Russia, the days when they study in oversea, the nice weathers and season.They wish to go back to the "good old days".

 

But, wait a minute, I think they forget something. They forgot the bad things and the suffering, which constitute the major part of our life and study in Russia. I deny not the things that I do miss. I miss Koinonia, Frank and Lora, the time of fellowship in hostel. But let us not forget the bad things can try to go back to the "good old days".

 

Let us not forget the difficulties that we need to go through during our flight, e.g. luggage limits, long hours of flight, long hours of transit in airport, visa, custom, passport missing, flight delayed, flight cancelled, etc.

 

Let us not forget the terrible food that we eat and the high living cost in Russia, the delicious Malaysian food and beverage that we craved day-and-night while we were in Russia, until we need to carry them all they way to Russia and cook them ourselves. Let us not forget how many years we waited for Subway and KFC to be opened in Volgograd.

 

Let us not forget the studies that we went through, outdated book written in alien language, taught by half-hearted lecturers, accessed by a corrupted subjective unfair scoring system, the hours that we sit in the alien language class.

 

Let us not forget the pride, hostility, and rudeness of the locals, the horrible crimes that they done to us, the discrimination towards the foreigners.

 

Let us not forget the terrible extreme weathers that we went through, the heavy snows and blizzard, the hard and slippery ice-skating courts, the numbers of time that we fell on our butt or back until some admitted into hospital, the numbers of layers of coats and jackets that we need to put on; the hot burning oven-like atmosphere during the summer, and attack of the locust and mosquitoes and gnats.

 

Let us not forget the expensive low class hostel that we stayed, the sudden disappearance of electrical and water supply, the theft done by the locals and the papa, the rudeness and inconsideration from the mamas and administrators, the numbers of time we need to be shifted around like a chess-piece on a chess-board.

 

Let us not forget the fear of seeing a doctor in the clinic, the fear of being admitted into the hospitals and stuck in there, the inhumane food that they serve for the patient.

  

Last but not least, let us not forget the live-action love-and-hate dramas among ourselves.

  

Something that I learned in my Ecclesiastes bible study with Frank in 26th January 2012.

  

Good Old Days = Bad Memory + Good Imagination

  

This formula might be a bit too simplified and may cause misunderstanding. It is undeniable that the past consists of good and bad things. But we tend to remember only the good things and forgot the bad things (hence the 'bad memory' part). We also tend to distort our memory and create something that we think is good (hence the 'good imagination' part). 

 

For example, after the Exodus from Egypt and while still in the wilderness, the Israelites keep complaining to Moses (and indirectly, to God). They forgot about their slavery in Egypt (bad memory); and they crave for meat, fish and other vegetables in Egypt, but it was not such way when they were in Egypt (good imagination). They want to go back to Egypt, the place where they have their "good old days".

  

So seriously, do you people still want to go back to those "good old days" in Russia?

  

____________________    

Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?"

For it is not wise to ask such questions.

Ecclesiastes 7:10 

  

Epistle to Hamers (2)

Dear Frank,
 
How are you and Lora? I am fine here. I just did my medical checkup which was required by government. I just finished the noun system for Greek. I am still not sure whether to continue with the verb system, or should stop for a while and resume my revision on medical stuff (it is quite hard for me to do multiple things at the same time). I also take a break from Martyn Lloyd-Jones commentary on Romans 1 (since I can't borrow that book from the library for a long time), and start reading There God Who Is There by Carson (as a "follow-up" study after the conference).
 
I went to the "Evangelistic Preaching" seminar and the "The God Who Is There" conference which were delivered by D.A. Carson. What I can say is that both are very rewarding. However it is sad to know that the organizer KVBC will be selling what they recorded in CD and DVD format without uploading them on the website. Since Joshua and Jean asked me to share we them what I have learned, I outlined the content of the seminar and I sent a copy to you too (see the attachment). I always though that expository preaching or exegesis is something like a "verbal commentary" that digs out the meaning of each word, but I am in a huge mistake. There is more in it. I guess this is the difference between sermon and sharing, preaching and testimony.
   

One lesson that I learned is that sometime I have asked questions out of a wrong motive (and I did it many times during my studies in medical school). Instead of genuinely want to learn or know something, many times I actually "ask questions just to score points or show off". Questions should be asked in the right setting.

 

I met with some unexpected people. First I met with a friend, Johanan, who studied dentistry in Volgograd and used to be in the Jesus Embassy Fellowship. Glad to meet him there.

But the more unexpected person is a sister (her name is Chiew) who used to go to the Bible-Presbyterian (BP) Church that I am attending now, She is serving as a helper in this seminar and conference, and she was quite surprised to see someone coming from Calvary-Jaya Bible-Presbyterian Church while sorting the registration slips.
  

She had attend this BP church for about 10 years, but few years ago she left this church together with a few brothers and sisters (less than 10). They are those who disagree with this KJV-only movement. No wonder everyone else in the church now doesn't seem to have any problem with this KJV-only idea, since those disagree it have left the church (or maybe other people just didn't voice it out?). She said there was a long history about this thing.
  

BP church is a separated entity from the mainstream Presbyterian churches, mainly located in Singapore, Malaysia, and some other countries in South East Asia. According to her, even the BP churches in Singapore was divided into different camps on this KJV-only issue. Sadly the churches in Singapore that support this movement have infiltrated the BP churches in Malaysia. She said "they shove down this idea into their throat forcefully".

One of the oldest elder disagree it, so he silently left the church because he doesn't want to split up the church. Initially everyone else thought that he was on working trip to Singapore. But as time passes, the truth started to surface. Chiew started to search about the history of this thing. Few of them contacted this elder and met him outside the church. Eventually these few brothers and sisters also left this church.
  

Kind of sad to hear about this story. But at the same time I am glad that I am not the only one feel the same way in this church. Chiew also mentioned that she was surprised to see someone from my church coming to this seminar because she knows that BP never support this kind of conference. For the BPs even people like Don Carson is in the liberal camp. No wonder no one in the church mention people like Carson and Piper. Even in the library I can only find the oldest edition of "Desiring God" by Piper and an old edition of "Now that's a Good Question" by R.C. Sproul.

I also understand why there is no announcement about this seminar and conference, even though my church is just across the street of the place having this seminar. I recalled the story that you mentioned to me about Carson (or someone else) came to Ocean City for a conference just across the street, and the people in your church still having meeting and practice at the same time with the conference. I guess I understand this feeling now.
  

Although small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, but if we start to build up unnecessary walls beside our eyes, our vision field is narrowed and we might miss out many blessings, which can be just "across the street".

One thing that make me quite depressed after the seminar and conference. These two months I have been trying to be active in the church, attend the service weekly, go to the bible study on Numbers, attend the Basic Bible Knowledge class (since it is the requirement to be the member of the church). I thought I have been feeding myself with spiritual food. But the fact is, after these seminar and conference, I felt that the food that I ate was very dry and lack of nutrition. Though they try to expound the book of Hebrews weekly, but the preaching doesn't make the text stings and sings, wounds and heals. If not because of the bible study with you, I will not see the flow of the whole book of Hebrews and the point that the author trying to make. Maybe the problem is because sometime other visiting pastor is preaching the text. The evening service, where they preach from Leviticus, is also quite disappointing. Example, the preacher fails to make a strong link between the Day of Atonement in Leviticus 16 with Christ atoning work. Maybe I demand too much from the preachers?
 
There is a feeling to leave this church (especially after meeting with sister Chiew, even though she have zero intention to ask me to leave), in view of the KJV-only issue which make this church very isolated from other churches, and the preaching. But as far as I know from some of the friends that I met at the seminar, other churches around this area is also didn't have strong preaching.
       

In Christ, Kevin.