Direction

It has been quite some times since I ever really start writing in this blog. The number of posts I wrote over the past two years decreased dramatically. This might be a good proof that housemanship in Malaysia is really very busy, or maybe it is just a proof that I have been using busyness as an excuse to be lazy in writing, on top of the fact that there is a place to write quick and short posts in this place called Facebook, something that I used to resent and ridiculed so much, but now I am hooked on it everyday. 

Anyway, the reason I really start writing a proper post (instead of copy and paste the email I wrote to Frank and Lora) is because of this quotation from one of my favourite writer C.S. Lewis:

Not really because I am fed up with life, but kind of directionless now, after finished two-year housemanship. It have been many ups and downs, but the sad part is - the downs are more than the ups. Still drowning in my old sins. Still being distracted by so many things. 

Still addicted to many things. Main issues here of course are the time, money, and my devotion to God. John Calvin penned it very well, “Man's nature, so to speak, is a perpetual fabricum idolarum (factory of idols).”

It has been five days since I am on leave, and sadly to say, nothing much was accomplished. I am interested in emergency medicine, but the path before me seems to be so vague and full of mist. Andrew Chai's picture perfectly illustrates my current situation:

Managed to complete that long letter to Frank and Lora. Very anticipate the update from their side in the State, and above all, the exaltation from them. Finished reading "Crazy Busy" by Kevin DeYoung, but didn't put what he taught into practice. Reading the biography of George Muller at the moment. But still kind of hard for me to learn how to entrust all things to God. Maybe this is one of the important lessons God wants me to learn, in fact I think God had already start teaching since few weeks back. I lost a few gadgets, on the same days. Yet they aren't the essential things that will influence much in my work. Immediately His Word came across my mind: "Let those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away." (1 Corinthians 7:31)

Another thing that quite of bothering my mind, is a sister whom I have interest in. Half a year ago she met a new guy. Not much news nor information on this guy. Just hope he is a fellow believer as well. Sometime I asked myself, what will happen if I do something earlier, if only I will be more courageous, if only I choose my posting in Sarawak, will thing change in a better direction? But it is a known fact that to ask the "if" question is usually futile. Perhaps it is time for me to forget about it, though it is difficult. Still find it hard to digest what Paul said, "I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." (1 Corinthians 7:7) And until now I am still asking, " Do I have this similar gift that God gave to Paul?" Previously have been entangled in a relationship with another fellow. Kind of messed up, because in the first place she is not a believer. And now this fellow is appearing on and off in my working place. Maybe it is not an bad idea to get my new posting in the Land of Hornbill.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)

I read this interesting account in George Muller's biography. As William Reader was going to leave George Müller's Orphan-House and enter his apprenticeship, Müller put half a crown into Reader's left hand, a Bible in his right.

Müller: You can hold tighter with your right hand than with your left, can't you?

Reader: Yes, sir.

Müller: Well, hold to the teaching of that book and you will always have something for your left hand to hold...  Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. (Psalm 37:3). Goodbye, my lad, goodbye!

___________________

I don't intend to put down roots in any one place,

but to travel around preaching as and where God directs me.

- George Müller -

Epistle to Hamers (10)

Dear Frank and Lora

Hello, how are both of you? I am fine. This suppose to be a short email, but I didn't manage to finish it in September, so end up adding more and more as time passes.

* * *

September was quite eventful:

September 19 - a brother Tan Wai Chong in my church passed away and returned to the Lord at the age of 51. He has nasopharyngeal carcinoma (NPC) for some years, received operation and chemotherapy in Singapore. Last year the disease recurred and he started to have difficulty and speech, and last month the disease spreaded to his larynx. He underwent another operation in Singapore and was discharge well. But few days after operation he has bleeding from the blood vessel in his throat (due to prolonged coughing). He was sent back to hospital immediately, and the Lord brought this brother back to him.

He is a man of few words, and I know him when he was on duty in the library and bookroom of the church. He is a faithful brother and diligent in the service to the Lord. He is the one who recommended me to read the exposition of the book of Romans by Martin Lloyd Jones to me.

September 20, morning - received the news from my colleagues that a patient who is under hand team specialist passed away in ward due to leaking aortic aneurysm. Quite a sudden news as he was quite stable previously.

September 20, night - a friend of my brother informed that my brother fell from bicycle and dislocated his right elbow with an open wound. The joint was reduced and the wound was washed and sutured up.

September 21 - the mother of the pastor in my church was found to have a tumour in her rectum during her colonoscopy. She was admitted to my hospital for further investigation as it look like a malignant tumour. She was discharged with CT scan appointment and follow up in clinic to review the result of biopsy that was taken during the scope. Later she had a keyhole operation in October to remove the tumour, and was well upon discharged. Please pray for her recovery and also for her salvation.

During the vigil service for Brother Tan, it really make me think a lot.

And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away, blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21)

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14)

It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart. (Ecclesiates 7:2)

* * *

October have been quite fun, mainly because I am able to attend two conference despite my busy working hour. Both conferences held on the same days October 12 to 14, one is in the morning, the other one is in the evening, so I applied 3-days leave and able to attend both. Indeed Jehovah Jireh my provider.

​

First is the International Clinical Conference on Emergency Medicine (ICCEM) 2015. It is a 3-days conference discussing clinical cases encounter in emergency department with speakers and presenters came from different country.

A summary I wrote for a lecture "Global Emeregncy Medicine and the New Paradigm" by Prof Terrence Mulligan:

"A breathtaking presentation by Prof Terrence Mulligan. He brought us through the rocket science of Ptolemaic geocentrism vs. Corpenican heliocentrism, Newtonian physics & quantum physics, and finally brought us back to emergency medicine.

The explanation of apparent retrograde motion of the planet can be explained in a simpler way after change of perspective. Many misconceptions of emergency medicine by others is largely due to the lack of understanding the fact that there is a paradigm shift in medicine.

To think that emergency medicine is a jack of all trades but master of none means they have ignored the fact that emergency medicine is a specialty in itself, not in a vertical sense but in a horizontal sense."

For quite a long time I was doubting which field to specialize in. Internal medicine has been my interest of field for quite some time, but the working environment is really bad. However I have found my interest in emergency medicine after I did my posting in that department. In medical school in Russia we did not really have a proper exposure to emergency medicine. After I did my training in this department, the feeling is like "Why I never knew such wonderful specialty exist?" This feeling is confirmed after I attended this conference. And I don't understand why other people choose anaesthesiology or even psychiatry instead of emergency department (for the final posting during housemanship we can either choose emergency, anesth, or psy). And I have this eagerness to persuade others to choose emergency.

That feeling is similar when I was found this new Christian faith - or to be exact, I was found by God - and that feeling was confirmed after God shown his grace and mercy during trials and temptation, and that daunting question why people don't understand Jesus Christ, and that eagerness to share the gospel.

Second is the annual Klang Valley Bible Conference (www.kvbc.info), speaker is William Taylor from St Helen's Bishopgate in London. A few key points of his exposition on John Chapter 5, 14 and 17:

Q1: What is Jesus' analysis of the nature of human?
A1: Apart from Jesus Christ, we are:
- dead (John 5:24),
- condemned (5:24)
- helpless (6:63)
- evil (7:7)
- blind (8:12)
- slaves (8:34)
- children of devil (8:44)

Q2: What is the primary work of God?
A2: The primary work of God is to help the helpless dead corps like you and me, to cross from death to life, to save us from condemnation to salvation, through His Word, to bring glory to God in the ultimate Sabbath in heaven.

Q3: What is Jesus' answer when Philip ask him to show them the Father?
A3: Jesus answers Philip:
1. Look to me (14:9), and you will see the Father.
2. Listen to me (14:10-11) through the Word of God, and you will see the Father's work.
3. Talk to me (14:12-14) through prayer, and the Father will answer.
4. Follow and obey me (14:15-21), and the Holy Spirit will dwell in you.


If you rip away the propitiation from the cross, you rip away the heart of the gospel.

Preaching and teaching God's Word is about making essential connections, like passing the baton... It involves both receiving it rightly and passing it on rightly.

The glory of God, this glory, shines through eternity from one source - Jesus Christ, through the cross-shaped witness of the believers.

* * *

During the month of October I was managed to meet up with Ivan who came to KL for holiday before he went back to Penang. We met up in this restaurant suggested by Joshua, and upon entering the restaurant we saw this...

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)

* * *

November. I have start to resume my reading habit, as I have finished my 2-years housemanship, and my next posting will be in Sarawak. I have been calling the Sarawak State Health Department but they still unable to determine which hospital or polyclinic I will be working. They just asked me to report on duty on December 1. 

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. (Hebrews 11:8)

I picked up this book, Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung during the KVBC conference. This paragraph strikes me a lot:

"At first we try to help, maybe even enthusiastically so. But as the demands escalate, we despair of ever being free from this relationship. We begin to resent the person we wanted so much to help. And yet the calls for help keep coming. What's a busy person to do?" 

The workload in hospital is so high that the system is overload, patients' care is compromise, the service we offer is substandardize, and the work is so 'crazy busy' to the point that some times - in fact, many times - we start to resent the patients. Yet my specialist told me before, "Do not hate your patients, no matter at what hours they come, and no matter how ridiculous their complaint is." In his lecture on patients' flow in emernency department, Prof Terrence Mulligan mentioned that "to control the overload of patient in ER (emergency room), the one thing you must do is, stop trying to stop patients from coming to you, because it will never happens."

Anyway, this indeed is a good and short book to read in the time of busyness.

I also picked up a biography of George Muller from the bookstore in my church. I only read half way through the book, but what I can say so far is that George Muller's submission and dependence to God is amazing.

He wrote his when he was found by Christ:
" 'God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.' I understood something of the reason why the Lord Jesus died on the cross, and suffered such agonies in the Garden of Gethsemane: even that thus, bearing the punishment due to us, we might not bear it ourselves. And, therefore, apprehending some measure the love of Jesus for my soul, I was constrained to love Him in return. What all the exhortations and precepts of my father and others could not affect; what all my own resolutions could not bring about, even to renounce a life of sin and profligacy: I was enabled to do, constrained by the love of Jesus. The individual who desire to have his sins forgiven, must seek it through the blood of Jesus. The individual who desires to get power over sin, must likewise seek it through the blood of Jesus."

When he started his ministry, he said, "I don't intend to put down roots in any one place, but to travel around preaching as and where God directs me." 

Maybe this is the same spirit that I should carry when I go to Sarawak.

In Christ,
Kevin.