Involvement VS. Commitment

Is commitment a good thing? Many times I felt that I don't have the desire to commit into something. I don't feel like having a long term relation with something or someone, especially if I know that I won't be there for long time. I scare to commit, because if I give myself to deep into something, it will leave a deep scar when I go away. 

But when I think back, I feel the other way round. I feel lonely and regretful if I didn't commit myself. I don't know, this feeling is so difficult to describe. Maybe I never understand what my heart really thinks and what my heart really wants. 

When I think back, the thing that I committed the most is Koinonia fellowship. I really being part of it, and it feels like my home. I don't know how I would feel when I graduate and come back Malaysia. But instead of being hurt and feel regretful, I think it would be rather memorable. 

However there are things that I do feel regretful after I committed or deeply involved, especially relationship. Many times I feel regretful of being so close with someone, until the point that I hope those things never happen. A simple example is martial art, though it is not something bad, rather it is quite useful, but isn't it better if I spend all the time and money on something else, like buying books or knowing God? I also getting myself twice in a very bad relationship with someone, and it hurts my spiritual life severely. 

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an egg-and-ham breakfast, 
the chicken involved, but the pig committed. 

So is commitment a good thing? Everyone including me afraid to commit, because we scare it will cost our lives, like what happened to that pig. But the result also depends on the thing that you commit. If you commit yourself in something bad, surely it will exhaust you and what you get is just damage.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. 

Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness 

and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

But if you commit in something good, though you might need to give up many things, but what you get in return is incomparable with what you put in. So afterall, whether commitment is a good or not, it depends on what  you commit in. So let us commit ourselves in something good. 

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Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God.

1 Chronicles 22:19