教然后知困

It feels very depressed 

when you are not able to teach something well,

or leads a discussion very well,

or after the discussion or presentation 

everyone leaves the hall with a blur blur or confused face. 

Someone told me that when you can't teaching or explain something,

it simply means that you didn't understand that thing in the first place.

学然后知不足，教然后知困。

知不足，然后能自反也；

知困，然后能自强也。

 

____________________

 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, 

because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 

James 3:1 

A Story of a Woman of Faith

She was born in a Hindu family, with a father who is very strong Hindu faith. When she was in Form 4 she start to hear the gospel. Initially she was a bit skeptical or dubious, but she decided to give a try. She heard some testimonies from her friends. She enjoyed the time with her christian friends, and went to christian camp before, but she was still defensive and haven't receive Christ yet.

After she finished her SPM. She didn't know what to do. She ended up doing typewriter job for a year. Later she decided to continue her study in Form 6. She met many christian friends, listened many testimonies from them, and decided to go to church every Sunday without her father's knowledge. When her father questioned where she goes every Sunday, she said she went to her friend's house, since Jesus is our friend.

Her father realised something different with her. She started to refuse to join the Hindu religious activities and rituals. The father suspected that Form 6 life has changed her. On one Sunday the father waited for her daughter outside the church. When the service finished and she came out from church, her father saw her, and every foul word from the encyclopedia came out from his mouth. But the brothers and sisters in the church support her.

The father changed the house lock. She cannot enter the house, and other family members were not allowed to talk to her or open the door for her.  The father said, "You want to become a christian, or you want to become my daughter as a hindu?" She replied that she want to be a christian, so the father didn't allow her to enter the house. She just waited patiently outside the house. Later the father went out, and he gave her time to think again.  She went into the house and took a nap. When her father came back, he asked that question again, she gave the same answer and the father shouted at her again. She was allowed to stay at her house but she was treated like an invisible person in the house.

This incident happened on the day before her STPM exam. She was not able to prepare well for her exam, and her STPM result was not good. However she was able to enroll into computer programming in TAR university. After a few weeks she realised that she was not interested in this course. So she secretly applied into a teachers training college. When she let her family know her decision, her father get very furious. However he has banked in the money into her account, so she used that money for the teachers training college.

Her relationship with her family has been very bad. Her family didn't attended her graduation. She met her husband who is also a christian. They get married at a church, but her family didn't attend her wedding, because she is the first person in the family to get married in a church. Before she get married her father asked her not to come back home anymore. So she did what she said. However after 2 weeks the father called his son-in-law and asked why he comes and visit them after the wedding.

However she does realised that her husband's faith is not as strong as her, and she learned the lesson that not all christians are good and great people like what the others think. In fact christians basically are "bad" people that need to be born again by the Spirit of God.

After many years her father got heart problem and a bypass was done, but his condition is still very grave. All the time during hospitalisation she willing to take care of her father. She shared with him the gospel again but he still refuse to believe. She prayed very hard for his salvation. However her father passed away the next day and she never heard her father's confession of faith. she get very angry with God and for 2 years her faith didn't grow. She refused to go to church and see the brothers and sisters. But as time passed by she realised her sins and she asked forgiveness from God. From that time onward, she is able to speak in tongue.

She has been having problem with having a child. Doctors have recommended her some alternatives such as in-vitro fertilization. But the problem was the embryo cannot be implanted into the uterine wall. However she waited patiently for God to answer her prayer. She lets God decides when to open her womb.

After waiting for 9 years, God answered her prayer. She conceived a child. But trials come when she was in 6th month of her pregnancy. Sugar level in her blood is high. Her blood pressure slowly creeps up, protein start to loss in her urine, and her body swells up, from head to toes. She has severe pre-eclampsia. The condition is so serious that it may endanger her life, so the doctor in the clinic initially offered her to abort her child. But she denied, so the doctor wrote a referral letter to a university hospital. When she was admitted to the hospital, doctors quickly prepared her, since emergency delivery might have to be done at anytime.

A baby that born prematurely has high chance of getting respiratory distress syndrome (RDS) due to the insufficiency of surfactant in the lungs. So doctor has to inject dexamethasone intravenously into her to prevent this condition. But the moment the medication enter her body she felt at chilly like sensation running all over the body.

A midline caesarean section was done later to deliver the baby. The baby was 28 weeks old. The baby was so small, just like the small barby doll that children play. Yet she persists and continue to take care of her daughter, pray for her daily beside the incubator. Her attitude was amazed by the nurse and the nurse exhorted other mothers to do the same.

This premature girl eventually has retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) and also chronic lung disease (bronchopulmonary dysplasia). The ROP causes the child need to wear a thick glasses in her young age. She has to be on continuous oxygen therapy and the mother needs to monitor the oxygen saturation daily. This chronic ling disease also make this child having multiple hospital admissions. Yet the mother never complains and very grateful that the Lord allows her daughter to live. In fact she uses the hospital admission as opportunity to share the gospel and testimony with other families and pray for other sick children. And I am one of them that listened to her testimony and encouraged by her while I am doing my elective posting in that hospital.

WorkS

Sometimes there is so much things to do that you don't know where you want to start first.

1. Study for class.
2. Study for the next Paediatrics discussion.
3. Prepare for the Paediatrics discussion.
   
4. Read the Bible daily.
5. Read Christian literature.
6. Learning basic Greek.
   
7. Watch / listen to sermons.
8. Watch anime >.<

Really need to learn how to prioritise my works.

Rose & Thorn

因为不再是小孩，所以不能随心所欲。

因为已经是新人，所以不能随从旧人。

因为已得着重生，所以不能随从肉体。

因为曾经犯错过，所以不能一错再错。

____________________

I kissed the Rose nor thought about the thorn. 

- Robert Murray McCheyne -

Jehovah Tsidkenu

Jehovah Tsidkenu "The Lord Our Righteousness"

The watchword of the Reformers—

I once was a stranger to grace and to God,

I knew not my danger, and felt not my load;

Though friends spoke in rapture of Christ on the tree,

Jehovah Tsidkenu was nothing to me.

I oft read with pleasure, to soothe or engage,

Isaiah's wild measure and John's simple page;

But e'en when they pictured the blood-sprinkled tree

Jehovah Tsidkenu seemed nothing to me.

Like tears from the daughters of Zion that roll,

I wept when the waters went over His soul;

Yet thought not that my sins had nailed to the tree

Jehovah Tsidkenu—'twas nothing to me.

When free grace awoke me, by light from on high,

Then legal fears shook me, I trembled to die;

No refuge, no safety in self could I see—

Jehovah Tsidkenu my Savior must be.

My terrors all vanished before the sweet name;

My guilty fears banished, with boldness I came

To drink at the fountain, life-giving and free—

Jehovah Tsidkenu is all things to me.

Jehovah Tsidkenu! my treasure and boast,

Jehovah Tsidkenu! I ne'er can be lost;

In thee I shall conquer by flood and by field—

My cable, my anchor, my breastplate and shield!

Even treading the valley, the shadow of death,

This "watchword" shall rally my faltering breath;

For while from life's fever my God sets me free,

Jehovah Tsidkenu my death-song shall be.

- Robert Murray McCheyne -

Do You Speak Greek?

Recently I started to pick up Greek. Not something that I always want to do or plan to do, just out of no where I found a book "Basic Greek 30 Minutes a Day: New Testament Greek Workbook for Laymen".

Like what someone told me, it is really rewarding to learn Greek in order to understand the Bible better. Not only so, it help me to understand medical terms and some other daily terminology better. I hope I can consistently finish it.

Another reason for me to pick up Greek is that I always have difficulties to choose the best English translation for the Bible. Like someone says, the only way to get something done right is to do it yourself. 

One thing amazing is that, finally I realised why I came to Russia and learn Russian language. The first foreign language that I want and would like to learn in Japanese, yet it ends up that I learn Russian instead. I never like to learn Russian, since I am not interested in it, and I don't feel the importance of it either in my future profession or in my spiritual life. 

However now I realised the reason of it. It builds up my foundation to learn other languages like Greek, because these European languages have similar alphabets, and grammar like change of the ending of a word when a word is used for different purpose. 

So let's start: α - ε - ι- ο - υ
 
____________________
 
 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 
who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

How to Consider Yourself "Dead to Sin"

Source: Desiring God

Martyn Lloyd-Jones commenting on Romans 6:11, So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

We are told to realize, and to hold before ourselves and in our consciousness constantly, something that is already true of our position or status. It is not an exhortation to us to do anything with regard to sin, but to realize what has already been done for us with respect to our relationship to sin. It is an exhortation to us to remember what is already true of us; it urges us to realize what has already happened to us as Christians, those of us who are joined to the Lord Jesus Christ. And what is true of us is that we are already in an entirely new position and standing with respect to sin.

This is something which we have to believe solely because the Word of God teaches it. You do not 'experience' your position, you are told about it and you believe it. That is what justification by faith alone means. We have this Word of God which tells us that this is God's way of salvation; and we have nothing but the Word of God. As we have seen, we have all got to do what Abraham did, as the Apostle has already reminded us in chapter 4. We must just take the bare Word of God, believe it, submit to it, and act upon it. That is what we have to do with this statement.

____________________

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin
but alive to God in Christ Jesus.
Romans 6:11

Born & Born Again

不知从何时开始

我渐渐的不说 “生日快乐”。

已经对生日渐渐的开始没有感觉，

没有兴奋，没有惊喜。

____________________

Jesus answered,
"I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God
unless he is born of water and the Spirit.
Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit."
John 3:5-6

Time of Distress

I don't know why I feel so stress and anxious.
Although I have many free time,
yet I am not able to finish anything productive.
Not able to use time more productively.

And feeling stress with someone who cannot take criticism,
someone who choose to use silence and coldness to show his stress.
Yet You taught us to forgive and love each other.

I want to seek You,
yet my flesh seeking after other worldly things.
Prone to wonder Lord I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love.
O Lord, how much I am in need of you,
yet how rebellious I am, seeking not after you.

Take my heart Lord, take and seal,
seal it for Thy courts above.

Do Not Fear

Trials and difficulties are something that we always faced in our life. No one likes it. Yet it exists, and God permits (or in fact, decree) it to happen, because it is written, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father." (Matthew 10:29) There is a reason why these unpleasant things happen, because we as creatures with this sinful nature, tend to forget our Creator and Giver when things goes too smooth.

Indeed when I was in my hometown during summer holiday, things go so smooth that I admit I didn't remember much about God, I tend to take things for granted. When trials and difficulties come when I arrive back to the place I study (and came to Christ), I realised the insufficiency of my own power, and this is when I call out to God. Though we have this sinful nature, yet we need not hesitate to come to Him and call upon Him, because it is written, You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear." (Lamentations 3:57)

____________________

Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.
But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves
but on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:9