没有面子书的小熊

难道一定要有面子书才记得吗？

没有要求每年都要记得，
但却没有一年的记得住，
看来就连那一天都不知。

为什么其他人的都记得，
但却不是我的呢？

为什么其他人都记得住，
但却不是你们呢？

不期望蛋糕，不期望大餐，
不期望卡片，不期望礼物，
不期望派对，不期望短讯，
不期望盛大，不期望特别，
不期望准时，不期望当天，
只期望祝福，小小的祝福。

难道一个小小的祝福，
都给不了吗？

给不了就算了，
却给我假希望，
把我捧上上摩天轮。

当知道希望不再是希望，
当知道祝福不属于我的，
就好比从摩天轮掉下来，
真是心如刀割，
心好痛，好痛。

心痛就算了，
却必须要脸带笑容，
必须要皮笑肉不笑，
必须要含泪而微笑。

好想变成一只小熊，
不会期待的小熊，
不会伤心的小熊，
不会心痛的小熊，
不会流泪的小熊，
不需要笑的小熊，

爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈，
爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，
不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，
不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶 ，
不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；
凡事包容，凡事相信，
凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
爱是永不止息。

……但我却办不到……
……心已痛到麻痹了……

主啊，
你真的能擦去一切的眼泪吗？
真的不再有死亡吗？
真的不再有悲哀、哭号、疼痛吗？

我试着勇敢一点，
成为一只勇敢的小熊，
成为一只坚强的小熊。

____________________

我不是超人，我只是个没有面子书的小熊。

学海浮沉中的喃喃自语……

繁忙中饮用的热巧克力……


学海中浮沉的喃喃自语……

-I-

一直以为自己做的解剖学的笔记很完美，很整齐，很正确。最近当我温习回解剖学时看会自己的笔记，才发觉到，笔记缺乏很多资料，乱七八糟，漏洞百出，而且还有很多错误。一直引以为傲的东西，回首一看，原来有那么多的瑕疵。紧握的绿洲，原来却只是海市蜃楼。骄傲在败坏以先；狂心在跌倒之前。（箴言16:18）

人往往就是这样，只看到自己的优点，自己的强处，自己的厉害，自己的正义，但我们都像不洁净的人；所有的义都像污秽的衣服。我们都像叶子渐渐枯乾；我们的罪孽好像风把我们吹去。（以赛亚 64:6）

当我们发觉到自己的罪，自己的软弱，自己的无助的时候，才能看到神的大能。他对我说：“我的恩典够你用的，因为我的能力是在人的软弱上显得完美。” 所以，我更喜欢夸自己的软弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。（哥林多后书 12:9）
This illustration depicts two things. First the black line represents how much we aware of our own sins and weakness. The red cross represents the grace of God and the mighty of God. As we become more and more aware of our own sins and weakness, we will see how much grace we have received from God, and how His mighty arms save us from our wretched condition.

________________________________________

But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.
Romans 5:20-21
________________________________________

-II-

最近常常忙着读书，忙着上大课，忙着再医院做实习，忙着教会的施工。流逝在繁忙的时光中，让自己麻木了。我已经忘记了为什么要学习，到底要怎样学习。
The stone the builder rejected has become the capstone (Mark 12:10).

居然让自己忘了这么关键的一点。在繁忙的时光中我们常常会迷失方向，尤其是在这遥远的耶路撒冷。When we fail to follow God, toxic living and spiritual pollution will come like a swarm of locusts and eat our life. Lord will you repay the years that the locusts have eaten?

知识给予生命内容，智慧给予生命方向，神的真理给予智慧（摘自李建安的简明神学）。唯有在神的真理中，唯有再次会到上帝的身边，才能找回原来的颜色。世界上最遥远的距离，并不是飞鸟与鱼的距离，而是当你与神的爱隔绝了。

泡沫般黑夜即将 过去，这一次我愿相信，向前去往应许之地，下一季在下一个雨季，我会勇敢的说：“You're My God”。May Your peace guards my heart and mind, for I tend to stray away like a lost sheep during my pilgrimage.

________________________________________

Dulux - adding colour to people's lives,
God - adding reason to people's live.
________________________________________

-III-

最特别的是，在这遥远的耶路撒冷，不只是我迷失了，原来还有其它人也迷失了方向。不惜歌者苦，但伤知音稀。西楼望月几回圆？寻觅知音自古难。在生活的困难中，有时想找个朋友倾诉，但又有几个朋友是个明白自己的知己呢？所以当找到了真正的知己就要好好珍惜。你找到了一个和自己的心思意念一致的知己吗？

有些人会说，在人生里有一個又一個巧合和偶遇，也會有一個又一個意外和錯過，人与人的相遇是个缘分。但当我想起 《向左走 · 向右走》，我觉得人与人的相遇，不是缘分，而是神的主宰。

想正真去明白和了解一个人的心并不容易，就好比海底针一般。
There will always be a distance between people, and even between things that seem within ones' reach. And that one must walk down a long, thin and winding road before they reach one's heart. There's tons of obstacles. It's in fact like the roads in towns of old.
(from Dennou Coil)

虽然很难，虽然不容易，虽然会耗尽很多时间，虽然会耗尽很多精神，但只要一直往那条路走下去，是可以的到达路的尽头。

________________________________________

向左走还是向右走，我努力选择努力记得，
不管世界有多辽阔，只要向着你走。
________________________________________

-IV-

In our life, many people tend to worry a lot, so do I. In my life here, there is always so many things to do, so many things to take care of, so many things to worry, so many things to solve. And sometime these worries in our life will consume our ownself, and we end up being so tired, and even exhausted.

Look at the cats on the street, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
(my own version of Matthew 6:26 =P)

The dog should be the one wagging his tail, don't let the tail wags the dog. So in the same way, don't let the worries of life wags you.

A forest contains not only trees, but also many animals, flowers, living things, which make up the fullness of a forest. If you keep looking at the trees in the forest, you can't see the fullness of the forest, you can't see the wonder of the forest as a whole. You don't see the forest for the trees. So in the same way, our life contains not only worries and troubles, but also many wonderful things. If you keep focusing your mind on those trivial matters of worries, you will miss the many wonderful things in life, you can't see the fullness of life, the wonder of life as a whole.

But what is the most wonderful thing in our life? The most wonderful thing in our life, is to know that God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. (John 3:16-18)

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to
the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,
for whose sake I have lost all things.
I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.
(Philippians 3:8)

So let's us now list out our worries, turn this worry list into a prayer list, and turn this prayer list into an action list. Don't fret about the future, or consumed by cares. Instead take all your worries, and turn them into prayers. Why we pray? Because God said,

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."
(Isaiah 65:24)

________________________________________

就算黑夜不会过去，就算白昼不会来临，
也将会有破晓的彩虹，因为上帝是个会行奇迹的神。
________________________________________

。

Let Them Come Hither

When we are called by God to follow him, we are not called to walk alone in this pilgrimage. When we are called into a relationship with God, this relationship doesn't just grow vertically, but horizontally. In our pilgrimage, God prepares companions for us because

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18).

This verse usually quoted by many people to show that it is normal for man to feel alone and want to seek for a partner in marriage, but this verse doesn't just mean that God prepares a partner in marriage for man, but God want us to walk along with other believers, to grow along with other believers.

But...
Why it is so important to grow together?
Why is it so important to be in a fellowship?
Why is it so important to prayer together?
Why is it not good for man to be alone?

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" (1 Corinthians 12:14-21)

A believer is not given with all spiritual gifts, each are given with different gift, in order to help one another and build up the body of Christ. Just as the eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!", and the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" so a believer cannot say to another believers, "I don't need you!".

Let us see what J. I. Packer’s opinion about fellowship.

We should not…… think of our fellowship with other Christians as a spiritual luxury, an optional addition to exercises of private devotion. We should recognize rather that such fellowship is a spiritual necessity; for God has made us in such way that our fellowship with fellow Christians, and requires to be so fed constantly for its own deepening and enrichment.

So you can see that to fellowship together is not a option, rather it is a necessity.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:13)

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11)

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

Both the Hebrews’ writer and Solomon recognized the importance of fellowship. Two are better than one, first because of the synergistic effect. An iron cannot sharpen itself, so do a Christian cannot sharpen his faith by himself. Two Christians sharing the Word together can learn more than two of them studying individually, they stimulate one another. Two can also help one another when others are weak or struggling with something, lest that we fall into temptation.

Some people might heard before a book called Pilgrim's Progress 《天路历程》 written by John Bunyan. It is an allegorical tale of Christian's journey from the City of Destruction to the Celestial City.

One of the most interesting part is when the author tried to emphasizes the importance of fellowship together with each other. When Christian and Hopeful are walking through the Enchanted Ground, Hopeful feels so drowsy and wants to sleep, but Christian reminds him by quoting "Let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober." (1 Thessalonians 5:6), because if they should sleep at the Enchanted Ground, they will never wake up again from their sleep. Hopeful realizes his mistake and said "Two are better than one." (Ecclesiastes 4:9). So they decided to have a discussion to keep them awake. Later Christian sings a song,

When saints do sleepy grow, let them come hither,
And hear how these two pilgrims talk together;
Yea, let them learn of them in any wise,
Thus to keep ope their drowsy, slumb’ring eyes.
Saints’ fellowship, if it be managed well,
Keeps them awake, and that in spite of hell.
to help when other falls down
to keep each other warm.

So have you commited in a fellowship?
If yes, continue in it. If no, find a fellowship.
Remember that we are not to commit to the meeting itself, but we are to commit to Jesus Christ and to one another.

____________________

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,
but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:25

Tell Me the Old, Old Story

Many times I wonder why I still alive, spiritually and physically. Sometime I got a similar feeling with Paul, when he was writing a letter to the church in Philippi.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me.
Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!
I am torn between the two:
I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;
but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
(Philippians 1:21-24)

Many times I fall into the dilemma between the two also. All believers do desire to return to their true home, because we are like travelers, traveling in this foreign world. After being banged by a car and still survive, I feel a calling from Him.

Though I surrendered myself to Jesus Christ, but there is something that I still haven't do, there is something that I still need to do, that is to be His witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth (cf. Acts 1:8), and go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that commanded by God (cf. Matthew 28:19-20). The reason I still living now, is to proclaim the good news, to proclaim the gospel.

This is a hymn, from a poem written by Catherine Hankey (1893-1911). She wrote it when she became very ill and lay in bed.

Tell Me the Old, Old Story

Tell me the story slowly, that I may take it in -
That wonderful redemption, God's remedy of sin.
Tell me the story often, for I forget so soon;
The early dew of morning has passed away at noon.

We need to tell others the old, old story of Jesus and His love. They need some good news.

____________________

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live,
but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body,
I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
(Galatians 2:20)

Coil — A Circle of Children

当我从椅子醒来的时候，看到我左右的人离开了。
他们虽然还在附近，但却不再身边。
顿时间有种被背叛、被抛弃、被遗弃的感觉。
剩下的只有孤单、落寞、和失望的灵魂。

做事常常事以愿违，常常力不从心。
一心想去普拉提卡，却必须先交钱。
一心想去西阿母伊，时机却不妥当。
一心想去见老朋友，却只得到孤单。
一心想得到的东西，却等也等不到。
但最伤心的是找不到可以谈心的人。

What is lost? Usually it mean you don't know where you are.

But sometime you know where you are, yet you are still lost,
simply because you don't know where to go.

But sometime you know where to go, yet you still lost,
simply because you don't know how to go.

But sometime you know how to go, yet you still lost,
simply because you can't reach the place that you want to go.

But sometime you reached the place that you want to go, yet you still lost,
simply because you didn't get what you expected, even after you have tried so hard.

But sometime you get what you expected, yet you still lost,
simply because the thing that you expected doesn't matter anymore, and what you get is just tireness.

People feel sad when they are lost, not because they don't know what to do or where to go, but simply because no one help him or accompany him when he was lost. People seek for a companion, because it is not good for man to be alone. That's why people said it is not important to where are you going to travel, but is with whom you are going to travel.

Even the robots in the movie I, Robot will come and gather together in the dark, and the androids in Eve no Jikan (The Time of Eve) seek for a better relationship between themselves and humans, how much more man wanted to have a companion.

Yet is not easy to find a suitable companion. 知音难寻。It is difficult to find a companion that understands what is your need, a companion that has the same goal with you, a companion that can tolerates your bad behaviour. To find a companion is not like just involving in a relationship, but committing in it.

What is the difference between involve and commit? It is just like a egg-and-ham breakfast, in this case the chicken involved but the pig committed. But I think not much people want to be a pig.

Though of same kind, but it seems like human cannot understands each other. Though speaking of same language, but it seems like the words can't never reach the heart and mind of a person. This is also the main theme of the anime Dennou Coil, from where I got the title for this post.

"There will always be a distance between people, and even between things that seem within ones' reach. And that one must walk down a long, thin and winding road before they reach one's heart. There's tons of obstacles. It's in fact like the roads in towns of old."
from the anime Dennou Coil

____________________

The LORD God said,
"It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18